its been awhile since ive blogged in here. ive often wondered about what simeon was talking about when he looked right into marys eyes when Jesus was nothing more than an infant, and said "A SWORD WILL PIERCE YOUR HEART." as described in luke 2:35. he WAS referring to His coming death as simeon knew as few of the elders knew that the fulfillment of prophecy was unfolding right before them, that one day she would have to eatch Him die, but i also knew it was much more than that, even more than the fact that she would also have to suffer the pain that would come from the fact that Jesus would never be a normal child. more than that. MUCH MORE..BUT WHAT??? at home fellowship, i remember linn telling esther
during prayer that she was a woman whose heart had been pierced in many places. once gain WHAT DOES THAT MEAN????? there was a part of me that understood that soon i would find out personally. i realize now that hearing about how someone close to mes heart was pierced
was something that God had meant for me to hear.
i remember very well my first marriage. his name was grant and he turned out to be someone whose behavior fell well within the perimeters of a sadistic sociopath, whose hatred of women
was so deep that he even hated his own daughter. he came very close to murdering me on more than one occasion. it wasnt just a matter of mere abuse. he wanted me dead. for years i hated him, lived in fear and hatred of him, and saw myself as a victim. recently, for some strange reason, i decided to research him online. i came across a web caption showing that he had passed away two years ago, and it gave the name of his sister who was on facebook. i looked her up and i wrote to her. i was wondering how he died seeing that he was only 56 years old. the email i got back was heartbreaking. he had died from complications of hapatitis c as a result of sharing dirty needles several years back. he died the way that he lived....drunk high full of rage and alone. he was dead for several days before he was found.
as i was reading this, a question rose inside of me....WHY DID YOU MARRY HIM???? THE TRUTH!!!! NOT SOME PRETTY FICTION YOUD LIKE TO HAVE YOURSELF BELIEVE?? the answer was simple... i married him to get away from home so i could live life as if it was one big party, and grant had the drugs. THATS A SAD PATHETIC REASON TO MARRY SOMEONE!! that was the moment when i understood what it meant A SWORD WILL PIERCE YOUR HEART!!!! its that moment of not only allowing the Holy Spirit to convict you in line with His truth, but actually allowing it to be that two edged sword, cutting right into the depths of your heart, revealing all those twisted motives, and hidden things of dishonesty, and seeing it for what it is..its ugly. it PAINED me to see that. i know now that i was never going to forgive grant for what he had done to me until i first saw that my part in what had happened to be was HUGE. this was also the first time i really saw how id lived my life in the past.. i went rocking thru life not having a clue. i didnt have a clue, i just went thru life, blissfully ignorant, not accepting responsibility for anything (ididnt think i HAD any responsibilities. mommy and daddy never made me accept responsibility. why should anyone else?) i thought i could just do anything i wanted to do, with no repercussions. i was like the little girl on sesame street LALALALALAL down the street, then wondering why i got a gun stuck into my back. i used people back then, i just didnt take into consideration that there just might be someone who came across my path who was the wrong person to do that to. he wasnt stupid. he was hip.. SHES USING ME. when you do something for selfish reasons, it will always reach out and bite you.
this is one of these postcards from God that i needed to see. it was like looking at a snapshot of my life fastforward in another 10-12 years if i had kept going in the direction i was going.seeing myself at nearly 60, doing what i was doing at 20 to get high...FILL IN THE BLANKS, its not pretty. today i understand that everyone deserves to have people who want to be around them because they love them, not for what they can get from them. i see what God pulled me out of, not only eternal damnation ,but also an early grave. i am grateful for a God who saw when i needed to have my heart pierced
Friday, June 4, 2010
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
THE CAVE OF ADULLUM.
yesterday, when i was on my way to complete a job assignment, i was listening to this cd that was a teaching on the early life of king david. it was called, "the cave of adullum" that period of david life where hed been running from king saul, and relying on his own efforts to solve his dilemna, rather than God, and hed reached a point where he had nowhere left to run to. "the cave of adullum" is that period in our lives that is that watershed place, where were forced to see that OUR way isnt working, and we have no alternative, BUT to turn to Him. with me, that
"cave of adullum' had been that period, which had basically been MY WHOLE LIFE where id been blaming others for my problems, and i was now in a situation where id run out of people to blame, it was being forced to see that i was the lowest common denominator in every situation, w(hich always seemed to revolve around the same issue) i wound up in.
during periods of revelation that God leads you into, often, teaching that was previously LOGO..meaning i KNEW it was true, but hadnt yet hit an area that made it personal..suddenly becomes RHEMA. it was concerning PRIORITIES. it spoke of how, when things on your list of priorities get out of order, your whole life gets messed up. "HE WHO HAS WILL CONTINUE TO GAIN, BUT HE WHO HAS NOT WILL LOSE EVEN WHAT HE ALREADY HAS" recently, i had problems come up on my job that seemed like they were sudden. i was forced to confront the fact that issues in my life i had blamed those closet to me for were ones that carried over inot every other area of my life. rather than deal with my issues, id always run from them, in one way or another. a common way was to shift blame. i was told by God, when this teaching onpriorities came back to remembrance, to look at my order of priorties. i remember hearing this about how they should be.
1.God
2.loved ones
3your church and home fellowship
4.relationship with employer and fellow employees.
5. all the details of life
well, this is what had happened here. i was having issues with loved ones, and how id chosen to deal with them was to move those loved ones down my list of priorities to where they were close to the bottom. in essence, put them out of my mind. my list of priorities ended up looking like this.
1.God.
2.church and home fellowhsip
3. relationship with employer and fellow workers.
4.loved ones
5. all the details of life.
THINGS THAT MAKE YOU GO HMMM!!! my priorities were seriously out of whack here.
God, for a long time, will work with us, when were being stubborn and rebellious, and be loving and patient, because Hes just that way. however, there comes a time, when, just like any other stubborn, rebellious child, Hes going to end up prying things from our fingers, not out of punishment, but, because, He wants us to see He LOVES US and is trying to move us to a new levels. this often involves a test that He usually doesnt place in front of us, but He sees we have to pass in order to grow. He also wants us to see He is a God of order. THINGS MUST BE DONE DECENTLY AND IN ORDER!!!! even FAITH wont get it if im not in line with His WILL.
whatever i put on top that doesnt belong there i will end up losing along with everything elsE.
this was always my M.O.......F.E.A.R
Forget
Everthing
And
Run
this is how HE wants F.E.A.R to look like.
Face
Everything
And
Restore.
"cave of adullum' had been that period, which had basically been MY WHOLE LIFE where id been blaming others for my problems, and i was now in a situation where id run out of people to blame, it was being forced to see that i was the lowest common denominator in every situation, w(hich always seemed to revolve around the same issue) i wound up in.
during periods of revelation that God leads you into, often, teaching that was previously LOGO..meaning i KNEW it was true, but hadnt yet hit an area that made it personal..suddenly becomes RHEMA. it was concerning PRIORITIES. it spoke of how, when things on your list of priorities get out of order, your whole life gets messed up. "HE WHO HAS WILL CONTINUE TO GAIN, BUT HE WHO HAS NOT WILL LOSE EVEN WHAT HE ALREADY HAS" recently, i had problems come up on my job that seemed like they were sudden. i was forced to confront the fact that issues in my life i had blamed those closet to me for were ones that carried over inot every other area of my life. rather than deal with my issues, id always run from them, in one way or another. a common way was to shift blame. i was told by God, when this teaching onpriorities came back to remembrance, to look at my order of priorties. i remember hearing this about how they should be.
1.God
2.loved ones
3your church and home fellowship
4.relationship with employer and fellow employees.
5. all the details of life
well, this is what had happened here. i was having issues with loved ones, and how id chosen to deal with them was to move those loved ones down my list of priorities to where they were close to the bottom. in essence, put them out of my mind. my list of priorities ended up looking like this.
1.God.
2.church and home fellowhsip
3. relationship with employer and fellow workers.
4.loved ones
5. all the details of life.
THINGS THAT MAKE YOU GO HMMM!!! my priorities were seriously out of whack here.
God, for a long time, will work with us, when were being stubborn and rebellious, and be loving and patient, because Hes just that way. however, there comes a time, when, just like any other stubborn, rebellious child, Hes going to end up prying things from our fingers, not out of punishment, but, because, He wants us to see He LOVES US and is trying to move us to a new levels. this often involves a test that He usually doesnt place in front of us, but He sees we have to pass in order to grow. He also wants us to see He is a God of order. THINGS MUST BE DONE DECENTLY AND IN ORDER!!!! even FAITH wont get it if im not in line with His WILL.
whatever i put on top that doesnt belong there i will end up losing along with everything elsE.
this was always my M.O.......F.E.A.R
Forget
Everthing
And
Run
this is how HE wants F.E.A.R to look like.
Face
Everything
And
Restore.
Thursday, April 22, 2010
DISCIPLINE AND OBEDIENCE
i was reading one of pastor garys posts on just how important discipline and obedience is in our daily walk with God. he also talked about ACTIVELY listening. this means HEARING it and actually APPLYING it. meaning i need to do what im told, even when i dont WANT or FEEL LIKE doing it. my flesh might moan (and the flesh nature DOES tent to be whiny) OI WHY SHOULD I BOTHER? but the DISCIPLINE of His Word, as well as His Word itself says DONT BE A BABY, QUIT WHINING, JUST DO IT. often, my flesh nature, when it doesnt want to do something, reminds me of the time i made an english steak and kidney pie. i allowed
alan to cajole me into tasting a piece of the kidney..i was like a little baby, when it gets something in its mouth it doesnt like, like a mouth of cod liver oil, makes a face, roLls it around in its mouth, knowing that sooner or later, hes going to have to swallow it. it was AWFUL! im kinda like that, when i taste something in Gods Word i dont like, but the Spirit is cmon downnnnn the hatch ATTA GIRL!!!!! it never ceases to amaze me just how FEELINGS oriented my flesh nature is, and if i had my way, at least half of what i read in Gods Word id spit right out like that baby, and look for something much tastier as fast as i could, regardless that it may be bad for me.
a good analogy to what pastor gary was talking about......its very frustrating, when i try to get through to loved ones, who are getting dangerously overweight, that in order to lose weight, and KEEP IT OFF, they have to be willing to do it the RIGHT way.
1. drinking WATER
2. QUIT SMOKING!!!!!!!
3.go to the gym, and start a rigorous cardiovascular routine
4. a balanced diet, including all the major food groups. a biggie here is not eating veggies that are cooked to death.
5. the chips, crisps, and foods deepfried in lard have got to go.
instead, they keep looking for diets,tailormade to suits their GREEDS, not their NEEDS ( yep, i borroowed that one from pastor gary), quick fixes to BOOM!! take the weight off quick, so they can get back to what theyre doing as quick as possible, but making no sacrifice or permanent change. then they want to make a fad diet out of the fad diet. they want to do things THEIR way, not the RIGHT way.
this selfserving, spoiled, undisciplined approach to GOD was a major factor in my vehement
rejection of the Gospel for so many years, as is it is with so many others who reject it. DONT TELL ME I HAVE TO GO THRU JESUS TO GET TO GOD! ILL DO THIS MY WAY.
and the truth is, my rejection of the Gospel wasnt just limited to knowing i had to accept Jesus to get to God, it was everything i already knew i had to be willing to renounce AFTER i decided to follow in His footsteps. it was virtually everything i was doing. in AA, i liked the idea of being able to create MY OWN version of God, that would let me operate a barter system with Him,
thati if id id this, Hed overlook that. I fully believe now that He healed me of my addictions at that time, because He did see an open door where A PART of me was seeking Him...Hes persistant, He wanted me in His fold. however, the God I chose was nothing more than A FORM
of Godliness, but still DENYNG His power. discipline and obedience requires SUBMISSION. and i still wasnt ready to submit to anyone.
DONT TELL ME I HAVE TO LOVE PEOPLE, EVEN IF I DONT LIKE THEM.
DONT TELL ME I HAVE TO STOPP ALL THESE THINGS IM DOING. I DONT WANT YOUR GOSPEL..ITS TOO HARD. ILL JUST CREATE MY OWN GOSPEL.
the discipline that comes thru building my life on His precepts means im having to learn how to do EVERYTHING in my life in completely the opposite way of the way ive done everything my whole life. it requires making His principles the core of everything that i do in my daily life..even when i dont WANT TO. it means i can no longer pattern my life about starting things, and never completing them. it means being in this for the long haul.
alan to cajole me into tasting a piece of the kidney..i was like a little baby, when it gets something in its mouth it doesnt like, like a mouth of cod liver oil, makes a face, roLls it around in its mouth, knowing that sooner or later, hes going to have to swallow it. it was AWFUL! im kinda like that, when i taste something in Gods Word i dont like, but the Spirit is cmon downnnnn the hatch ATTA GIRL!!!!! it never ceases to amaze me just how FEELINGS oriented my flesh nature is, and if i had my way, at least half of what i read in Gods Word id spit right out like that baby, and look for something much tastier as fast as i could, regardless that it may be bad for me.
a good analogy to what pastor gary was talking about......its very frustrating, when i try to get through to loved ones, who are getting dangerously overweight, that in order to lose weight, and KEEP IT OFF, they have to be willing to do it the RIGHT way.
1. drinking WATER
2. QUIT SMOKING!!!!!!!
3.go to the gym, and start a rigorous cardiovascular routine
4. a balanced diet, including all the major food groups. a biggie here is not eating veggies that are cooked to death.
5. the chips, crisps, and foods deepfried in lard have got to go.
instead, they keep looking for diets,tailormade to suits their GREEDS, not their NEEDS ( yep, i borroowed that one from pastor gary), quick fixes to BOOM!! take the weight off quick, so they can get back to what theyre doing as quick as possible, but making no sacrifice or permanent change. then they want to make a fad diet out of the fad diet. they want to do things THEIR way, not the RIGHT way.
this selfserving, spoiled, undisciplined approach to GOD was a major factor in my vehement
rejection of the Gospel for so many years, as is it is with so many others who reject it. DONT TELL ME I HAVE TO GO THRU JESUS TO GET TO GOD! ILL DO THIS MY WAY.
and the truth is, my rejection of the Gospel wasnt just limited to knowing i had to accept Jesus to get to God, it was everything i already knew i had to be willing to renounce AFTER i decided to follow in His footsteps. it was virtually everything i was doing. in AA, i liked the idea of being able to create MY OWN version of God, that would let me operate a barter system with Him,
thati if id id this, Hed overlook that. I fully believe now that He healed me of my addictions at that time, because He did see an open door where A PART of me was seeking Him...Hes persistant, He wanted me in His fold. however, the God I chose was nothing more than A FORM
of Godliness, but still DENYNG His power. discipline and obedience requires SUBMISSION. and i still wasnt ready to submit to anyone.
DONT TELL ME I HAVE TO LOVE PEOPLE, EVEN IF I DONT LIKE THEM.
DONT TELL ME I HAVE TO STOPP ALL THESE THINGS IM DOING. I DONT WANT YOUR GOSPEL..ITS TOO HARD. ILL JUST CREATE MY OWN GOSPEL.
the discipline that comes thru building my life on His precepts means im having to learn how to do EVERYTHING in my life in completely the opposite way of the way ive done everything my whole life. it requires making His principles the core of everything that i do in my daily life..even when i dont WANT TO. it means i can no longer pattern my life about starting things, and never completing them. it means being in this for the long haul.
Friday, April 9, 2010
WHAT DANIEL HAS TO SAY ABOUT BECOMING LOVERS OF SELF
i just wanted to do some followup on what i blogged yesterday. even though i understand how so much of my thinking was due to the fact i was lost, its still, at times, hard to get my head around how, not only did i reject what i, deep in my heart, KNEW to be right in favor of what i knew to be WRONG...BUTTTTTTTTTTT i also with many things, even when confronted with not just the TRUTH, but even the FACTS, i would still choose to believe in a lie.
i came across TWO very important verses that deal with just that.
11 thessalonians 2:11-12 "they were sent STRONG DELUSION, and they BELIEVED IN A LIE. THEY SHUNNED THE TRUTH, AND TOOK PLEASURE IN UNRIGHTEOUSNESS."
another trip back to my aa days, when, one day, i was talking to a sponsor of mine about just how destructive and DECEPTIVE the disease of addiction is. even when confronted with, not only the TRUTH, but the FACTS of how, in the natural, that addiction is a progressive, and fatal disease, and there was NO SUCH A THING, as an addict EVER being able to manage his addiction in his own strength. not only is it a Biblical fact that it will neber be in man to find his own way or to order his own steps, but the SCIENTIFIC facts show its impossible. i asked her
how was it even when confronted with facts AS WELL as the truth, anyone, once confronted with and accepting it, could ever believe they could go back and manage their addiction. she told me that addiction is a disease that is so strong, you can have the truth and the facts staring you right in the face, and you will still believe in the lie"
this came to mind, the other day, when i was confronted with the belief that certain men and women are born gay. before i got saved, and the lights started coming on about how alot of the things the world tells us, flies not only in the face of the Word of God, but also good sound logic.
i sent the person a reply that not only is it completely illogical....... that God would present homosexuality as being totally against His Will as a crystal clear absolute, then creating someone in the very image of what he clearly states is an abomination..........but also, how can someone claim to be BORN sexually oriented a certain way, when it is a SCIENTIFIC fact
that sexual development doesnt occur until puberty? i am slowly beginning to understand, that satans power to decieve is so powerful, that, we can be confronted with the truth, and hell still have us believe in a lie.
EPHESIANS 6:12 "WE DEAL NOT WITH FLESH AND BLOOD, BUT AGAINST PRINCIPALITIES" the message in this is crystal clear. even armed with the facts, even KNOWLEDGE of the Word, i can never go against the enemy in my own name and strength.
even the smallest demon is stronger than i ever will be. I AM WEAK, BUT HE IS STRONG HIS GRACE ALONE IS SUFFICIENT TO ME!!!!
i came across TWO very important verses that deal with just that.
11 thessalonians 2:11-12 "they were sent STRONG DELUSION, and they BELIEVED IN A LIE. THEY SHUNNED THE TRUTH, AND TOOK PLEASURE IN UNRIGHTEOUSNESS."
another trip back to my aa days, when, one day, i was talking to a sponsor of mine about just how destructive and DECEPTIVE the disease of addiction is. even when confronted with, not only the TRUTH, but the FACTS of how, in the natural, that addiction is a progressive, and fatal disease, and there was NO SUCH A THING, as an addict EVER being able to manage his addiction in his own strength. not only is it a Biblical fact that it will neber be in man to find his own way or to order his own steps, but the SCIENTIFIC facts show its impossible. i asked her
how was it even when confronted with facts AS WELL as the truth, anyone, once confronted with and accepting it, could ever believe they could go back and manage their addiction. she told me that addiction is a disease that is so strong, you can have the truth and the facts staring you right in the face, and you will still believe in the lie"
this came to mind, the other day, when i was confronted with the belief that certain men and women are born gay. before i got saved, and the lights started coming on about how alot of the things the world tells us, flies not only in the face of the Word of God, but also good sound logic.
i sent the person a reply that not only is it completely illogical....... that God would present homosexuality as being totally against His Will as a crystal clear absolute, then creating someone in the very image of what he clearly states is an abomination..........but also, how can someone claim to be BORN sexually oriented a certain way, when it is a SCIENTIFIC fact
that sexual development doesnt occur until puberty? i am slowly beginning to understand, that satans power to decieve is so powerful, that, we can be confronted with the truth, and hell still have us believe in a lie.
EPHESIANS 6:12 "WE DEAL NOT WITH FLESH AND BLOOD, BUT AGAINST PRINCIPALITIES" the message in this is crystal clear. even armed with the facts, even KNOWLEDGE of the Word, i can never go against the enemy in my own name and strength.
even the smallest demon is stronger than i ever will be. I AM WEAK, BUT HE IS STRONG HIS GRACE ALONE IS SUFFICIENT TO ME!!!!
Thursday, April 8, 2010
MODERN DAY ANALOGY
to avoid BOTH being sucked in and decieved by the way the world looks at things AND being sucked in by cults, one thing id better be able to do on a dime is to see how what was written thousands of years ago on parchment rolls, relates to MY life and THE WORLD AROUND ME
TODAY!!!!! being able to simply spout out and parrot Bible quotes, no matter how logo His truth is, is NOT going to be able to help me or others, if i cant grasp how it speaks about what i see around me in hands on real life. it would be like a doctor memorizing and maybe even understanding med term and even being able to cut up cadavers, but not being able to perform surgery or diagnose an illness in an actual patient.
i have an account with youtube, and, in addition to being a great source for freebie entertainment, it opens the doors to alot of communication with other people as you post comments on what you see and listen to. i remember 11 timothy 3:2-5 "for people shall be lovers of selves,..covetous, proud, blasphemers disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy. without natural affection, trucebreakers, false accusers, INCONTINENT, FIERCE, DESPISERS OF THOSE WHO ARE GOOD. TRAITORS, HEADY, HIGHMINDED,
LOVERS OF PLEASURES MORE THAN GOD" when i tap into a certain sight, and when i not only process what i view, but also read the responses to it, this verse comes to light with frightening, startling clarity. i was utterly horrifed particularly at the responses i read to two particular sources. one was the movie "hes just not that into you." which DOES reveal alot of truth about people who constantly seek to obtain and hang onto relationships with people who just dont feel the same way about them. BUT, there was a scene, where this one guy was having an affair on his wife, and she happens to arrive at his office right in the middle of it.
the responses i read to this not only revealed how the mindset of society is increasingly tolerant
of behavior that goes against the word of God, but actually cheers it on, and violently despises anyone who points out that, regardless of HOW "hot" the "other woman" is and what a "dog" the wife is, ADULTERY IS A SIN!!!!! this is a scary insight, not only into how depraved the thinking of the world is becoming, but how depraved MY OWN THINKING is minus God.
another example, i used to be a huge fan of the FX series "rescue me", which all about the escapades of a firefigher who glorifes being a bad boy. hmmm, lets see here. lets go thru some of the characteristics of the clinical narcissist and psychopath, shall we?
1. totally devoid of any sort of real conscience, except for things they have no choice to admit, once theyre nailed.
2.totally incapable of any kind of REAL, NORMAL, HEALTHY emotion.
3.interexploitiveness and manipulation of everyone around them. even their own kids.
4.an almost drunken sense of entitlement.
5. sexually promiscuous
6. lying pathologically-giving 5 or 6 different names at AA meetings when there was no logical reason to do so.
and this character is a cultural icon. as i said, i was a huge fan of this episode, and my response to what i saw, when i youtubed it and came across a particular clip showing how he sold his own baby for 400,000 bucks to his ex gf and how his wife freaked out on him, reading the responses to it, is an example of how often the way you remember things is drastically different to how one views things now after being saved. when i was struck by, taking all this in, was how utterly
perverse and depraved the mentality of modern culture is. when they are confronted with what is right and what is wrong, and they CONSISTANTLY CHOOSE what is wrong. the fact that a clinical sociopath would be considered a cultural icon is really scary. the tragic thing is so many ofthese people who applaud this sort of behavior are clueless as to the values theyre imparting to their kids, and then wonder why their kids end up getting in trouble with the law, in sort form of trouble. sin blinds you, not just to how warped your sense of values is, but tothe fact that, your kids are a reflection of you are are and WHAT you are LIKE IT OR NOT!!!!!!
seeing what i WAS and what i AM BECOMING and what I COULD GO BACK TO BEING shows how it is not by MY power, but by HIM that my life has changed
TODAY!!!!! being able to simply spout out and parrot Bible quotes, no matter how logo His truth is, is NOT going to be able to help me or others, if i cant grasp how it speaks about what i see around me in hands on real life. it would be like a doctor memorizing and maybe even understanding med term and even being able to cut up cadavers, but not being able to perform surgery or diagnose an illness in an actual patient.
i have an account with youtube, and, in addition to being a great source for freebie entertainment, it opens the doors to alot of communication with other people as you post comments on what you see and listen to. i remember 11 timothy 3:2-5 "for people shall be lovers of selves,..covetous, proud, blasphemers disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy. without natural affection, trucebreakers, false accusers, INCONTINENT, FIERCE, DESPISERS OF THOSE WHO ARE GOOD. TRAITORS, HEADY, HIGHMINDED,
LOVERS OF PLEASURES MORE THAN GOD" when i tap into a certain sight, and when i not only process what i view, but also read the responses to it, this verse comes to light with frightening, startling clarity. i was utterly horrifed particularly at the responses i read to two particular sources. one was the movie "hes just not that into you." which DOES reveal alot of truth about people who constantly seek to obtain and hang onto relationships with people who just dont feel the same way about them. BUT, there was a scene, where this one guy was having an affair on his wife, and she happens to arrive at his office right in the middle of it.
the responses i read to this not only revealed how the mindset of society is increasingly tolerant
of behavior that goes against the word of God, but actually cheers it on, and violently despises anyone who points out that, regardless of HOW "hot" the "other woman" is and what a "dog" the wife is, ADULTERY IS A SIN!!!!! this is a scary insight, not only into how depraved the thinking of the world is becoming, but how depraved MY OWN THINKING is minus God.
another example, i used to be a huge fan of the FX series "rescue me", which all about the escapades of a firefigher who glorifes being a bad boy. hmmm, lets see here. lets go thru some of the characteristics of the clinical narcissist and psychopath, shall we?
1. totally devoid of any sort of real conscience, except for things they have no choice to admit, once theyre nailed.
2.totally incapable of any kind of REAL, NORMAL, HEALTHY emotion.
3.interexploitiveness and manipulation of everyone around them. even their own kids.
4.an almost drunken sense of entitlement.
5. sexually promiscuous
6. lying pathologically-giving 5 or 6 different names at AA meetings when there was no logical reason to do so.
and this character is a cultural icon. as i said, i was a huge fan of this episode, and my response to what i saw, when i youtubed it and came across a particular clip showing how he sold his own baby for 400,000 bucks to his ex gf and how his wife freaked out on him, reading the responses to it, is an example of how often the way you remember things is drastically different to how one views things now after being saved. when i was struck by, taking all this in, was how utterly
perverse and depraved the mentality of modern culture is. when they are confronted with what is right and what is wrong, and they CONSISTANTLY CHOOSE what is wrong. the fact that a clinical sociopath would be considered a cultural icon is really scary. the tragic thing is so many ofthese people who applaud this sort of behavior are clueless as to the values theyre imparting to their kids, and then wonder why their kids end up getting in trouble with the law, in sort form of trouble. sin blinds you, not just to how warped your sense of values is, but tothe fact that, your kids are a reflection of you are are and WHAT you are LIKE IT OR NOT!!!!!!
seeing what i WAS and what i AM BECOMING and what I COULD GO BACK TO BEING shows how it is not by MY power, but by HIM that my life has changed
Saturday, March 27, 2010
MORE ON RELATIONAL IDOLATRY:1 CORINTHIANS 13; THIS IS WHAT LOVE SHOULD LOOK LIKE
i just got thru looking at a video on youtube. it basically showed a gorgeous singer trashing some guys truck, because she caught him cheating on her. the whole precipace of this scenario was that this somehow is going to deter him from cheating in the future. this really REALLY scares me. even though it is true that ultimately we are responsible for our choices, young people who see this crap are very impressionable. whether icons in our culture either are unaware of the ramifications of what they peddle to our young people or they just dont care, the end results are still the same. they are sending a message that to take unacceptable behavior and wrap in in a pretty package makes it somehow not only ok, but even cool.
i remember yossarian, from the book by joseph heller CATCH 22, which gave birth to the "anti-hero" once again, it not only accepts the unacceptable, but even glamorizes it. the whole concept of it is embracing and condoning the unacceptable aspect of our fallen natures, and that trying or wanting to do the right thing actually makes you a pariah. and we see more and more where this is becoming true. what is really frightening is all too often unacceptable behavior is done in the name of what we call love.
one of the things i got very caught up in, in my unsaved state was relational idolatry. that is, making other people, rather than God the center of my universe. it is very true that all our emotions, including anger, are a reflection of the fact that God made us in His image. anger is one of the emotions God has given us that He himself posesses. but there is a huge difference between GODLY anger and WORLDLY anger. the latter is largely a secondary emotion. the real root of carnal anger is FEAR. fear of not being in control. this type of anger was almost always the byproduct of every failed relationship id ever had in the past. and i always did it in the name of love. popular culture calls it "crazy love." spreading lies about someone who had rejected me, trashing his or her property, attacking them or the other parties involved was all because "I LOVED THEM."
THIS IS WHAT LOVE SHOULD LOOK LIKE. 1 CORINTHIANS 13:5 "LOVE IS NOT EASILY PROVOKED. IT NEITHER THINKS OR DOES EVIL" this is a drastically different picture from what seems rampant in the videos and all too often private lives of so many of our popular icons. whats so sad is that so many young people seek to emulate what its being presented to them as cool or hip because like i said its presented to them in a pretty package. but the message in this verse is clear. anyone who for any reason seeks to harm you DOES NOT LOVE YOU.
what the WORD calls things is often very different than what the WORLD calls them. for example "crazy love" is just another word for UNCONTROLLED OR UNBRIDLED ANGER.
in other words, IT IS A SIN. is being unfaithful a sin? yes it is. but so is out of control rage. i see now with so many of the things i did it was because i wasnt trusting in God to provide me with something better than the things i was so desperately trying to hang onto. today i understand if people are meant to be in my life i dont have to try to force them to love me. it has at times been a struggle to allow God to pry out of my clutches things in my life that just arent meant to be there, but today i know its because He always has something much much better in store
i remember yossarian, from the book by joseph heller CATCH 22, which gave birth to the "anti-hero" once again, it not only accepts the unacceptable, but even glamorizes it. the whole concept of it is embracing and condoning the unacceptable aspect of our fallen natures, and that trying or wanting to do the right thing actually makes you a pariah. and we see more and more where this is becoming true. what is really frightening is all too often unacceptable behavior is done in the name of what we call love.
one of the things i got very caught up in, in my unsaved state was relational idolatry. that is, making other people, rather than God the center of my universe. it is very true that all our emotions, including anger, are a reflection of the fact that God made us in His image. anger is one of the emotions God has given us that He himself posesses. but there is a huge difference between GODLY anger and WORLDLY anger. the latter is largely a secondary emotion. the real root of carnal anger is FEAR. fear of not being in control. this type of anger was almost always the byproduct of every failed relationship id ever had in the past. and i always did it in the name of love. popular culture calls it "crazy love." spreading lies about someone who had rejected me, trashing his or her property, attacking them or the other parties involved was all because "I LOVED THEM."
THIS IS WHAT LOVE SHOULD LOOK LIKE. 1 CORINTHIANS 13:5 "LOVE IS NOT EASILY PROVOKED. IT NEITHER THINKS OR DOES EVIL" this is a drastically different picture from what seems rampant in the videos and all too often private lives of so many of our popular icons. whats so sad is that so many young people seek to emulate what its being presented to them as cool or hip because like i said its presented to them in a pretty package. but the message in this verse is clear. anyone who for any reason seeks to harm you DOES NOT LOVE YOU.
what the WORD calls things is often very different than what the WORLD calls them. for example "crazy love" is just another word for UNCONTROLLED OR UNBRIDLED ANGER.
in other words, IT IS A SIN. is being unfaithful a sin? yes it is. but so is out of control rage. i see now with so many of the things i did it was because i wasnt trusting in God to provide me with something better than the things i was so desperately trying to hang onto. today i understand if people are meant to be in my life i dont have to try to force them to love me. it has at times been a struggle to allow God to pry out of my clutches things in my life that just arent meant to be there, but today i know its because He always has something much much better in store
Thursday, March 11, 2010
DIFFERENT PARTS: ONE BODY
pastor gary spoke this past sunday on the importance of losing your identity in Christ. one good thing about falling down, then getting back up again is that you learn what happened to cause you to fall down to start with. for starters, one thing i see now that always comes out of taking the time to dig into the Word on a regular basis on your own is that you dont just grab onto a particular catch phrase in a particular teaching and develop some wacky, off-balance doctrine out of it. in the past, for some reason, when i got saved, i somehow thought that it meant dressing funny, giving up the educational field..... (which happened to be criminology) because that HAD to mean i was called to go to Bible-college (never minding that i didnt have a clue if that was actually what God had called me to do.....becoming like some of the well-meaning people around me who constantly were spouting things like "name it and claim it", "dont say that. thats a bad confession" and couldnt even talk normally. and what happened was that i was miserable. i was like a square peg that was determined i was going to make myself fit in a round hole. im not saying that there was or is anything wrong with some of the things i was trying to do, but it wasnt what GOD had called me to do. i wound up eventually falling because it wasnt ME.
i liked the analogy that pastor gary used about all the individual grapes becoming crushed grapes. today, having a much better WORKING understanding of what he meant by all the crushed grapes losing their identity of the juice, hes NOT talking about what i USED to think he meant when he was talking about loss of individuality. hes not talking about becoming some quasi-nazi group of people who all look alike, dress alike, and who constantly talk in a constant monotone of cultlike religious psychobabble. what hes talking about is the laying aside of our own personal AGENDAS. its getting out of the MEMEMEMEMEME mindset that is so integral
in our flesh natures. he was talking about how the crushed grapes become juice and are no longer individual grapes but are a combined whole, able to be poured into any container God chooses to put us in. OKAYYYYYYY!!! now here is where proper division of His Word comes in here. how does that jive with the passage of Scripture talking about how the Body of Christ is made of up INDIVIDUAL MEMBERS? doesnt that make us individuals?????? yes and no. hpw does, then,what pastor gary said about the grapes becoming juice mesh with the passage about the body being made up of different members?
well, at work, they used to have a sign, (which i think was largely for the benefit of employees who were more childish about some people "they just couldnt STAND to work with, than some of the residents who always squabbled about certain tablemates they didnt like) "ITS ABOUT THE REIDENTS! KINDLY LEAVE YOUR EGO AT THE DOOR." yes mama the body is made up of individual members, but they all work together. you dont see the arm saying i dont need the hand or vica versa, and, on the other hand you dont see the hand wanting to be the arm. each member has its own unique function, but it always functions as a whole. you cant very well whack off a hand and expect it to be able to pick up a sandwich, now couldnt you?
DIFFERENT UNITS ONE BODY. and, you dont see a body of nothing but hands, or eyes, or feet. get the picture?? go to the emergency room of any major hospital and youll see a motley crew of people who probably wouldnt sit next to each other on the bus. but when those patients come rolling in, they function as ONE UNIT.
EZEKIEL 36 :8 "SHOOT FORTH YOUR BRANCHES AND YIELD YOUR FRUIT TO MY PEOPLE" i dont see anything in this verse here about dwelling on ones own self-involvement. when one doesnt have a vision of anything beyond his or herself, her individual survival is actually in jeopardy. the body relies of each of its individual members as a whole for its own survival. the message to a backslidden Israel is the same as the one given to any self-involved, self-pitying believer today. WHY DONT YOU THINK LESS OF YOURSELF AND MORE ABOUT CARRYING THE MESSAGE?
i liked the analogy that pastor gary used about all the individual grapes becoming crushed grapes. today, having a much better WORKING understanding of what he meant by all the crushed grapes losing their identity of the juice, hes NOT talking about what i USED to think he meant when he was talking about loss of individuality. hes not talking about becoming some quasi-nazi group of people who all look alike, dress alike, and who constantly talk in a constant monotone of cultlike religious psychobabble. what hes talking about is the laying aside of our own personal AGENDAS. its getting out of the MEMEMEMEMEME mindset that is so integral
in our flesh natures. he was talking about how the crushed grapes become juice and are no longer individual grapes but are a combined whole, able to be poured into any container God chooses to put us in. OKAYYYYYYY!!! now here is where proper division of His Word comes in here. how does that jive with the passage of Scripture talking about how the Body of Christ is made of up INDIVIDUAL MEMBERS? doesnt that make us individuals?????? yes and no. hpw does, then,what pastor gary said about the grapes becoming juice mesh with the passage about the body being made up of different members?
well, at work, they used to have a sign, (which i think was largely for the benefit of employees who were more childish about some people "they just couldnt STAND to work with, than some of the residents who always squabbled about certain tablemates they didnt like) "ITS ABOUT THE REIDENTS! KINDLY LEAVE YOUR EGO AT THE DOOR." yes mama the body is made up of individual members, but they all work together. you dont see the arm saying i dont need the hand or vica versa, and, on the other hand you dont see the hand wanting to be the arm. each member has its own unique function, but it always functions as a whole. you cant very well whack off a hand and expect it to be able to pick up a sandwich, now couldnt you?
DIFFERENT UNITS ONE BODY. and, you dont see a body of nothing but hands, or eyes, or feet. get the picture?? go to the emergency room of any major hospital and youll see a motley crew of people who probably wouldnt sit next to each other on the bus. but when those patients come rolling in, they function as ONE UNIT.
EZEKIEL 36 :8 "SHOOT FORTH YOUR BRANCHES AND YIELD YOUR FRUIT TO MY PEOPLE" i dont see anything in this verse here about dwelling on ones own self-involvement. when one doesnt have a vision of anything beyond his or herself, her individual survival is actually in jeopardy. the body relies of each of its individual members as a whole for its own survival. the message to a backslidden Israel is the same as the one given to any self-involved, self-pitying believer today. WHY DONT YOU THINK LESS OF YOURSELF AND MORE ABOUT CARRYING THE MESSAGE?
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