COVERING

GENESIS 9:20-25 "noah began to be a husbandman and he planted a vineyard. and he drank the wine a got drunk. and he lay uncovered in his tent. and ham the son of canaan saw the nakedness of his father and went and told his brothers. and shem and japeth took a garment laying it on their shoulders between them went in backwards not looking at their fathers nakedness went in and covered him. when noah woke up he knew what his younger son had done to him. and he cursed him ..to be a servant of servants" WHOAAAA!!! it doesnt get any worse than that. not just a slave but a slave to the others slaves???!!! OUCH!!!!! i bet ham thought about what he had done and thought 'OOPS MY SERIOUSLY BAD!!!!!!!' YEP you messed up buddy!!!!

the biggest barrier betwen us and God is that utter refusal to SUBMIT to Him. and refusal to submit to HIM alwmost always guarantees were going to be having major problems with all authority.. not just His DIRECT authority and it all eventually leads back to Him. if im having problems with authority i can take it to the bank that somewhere my relationship with HIM

isnt where it should be. and the very first thing im doing to do is to look for the flaws in the other person to justify my not wanting to submit to their authority. His word is very clear..it doesnt matter WHAT the flaws are of the people in authority over me..even if i dont respect their actions or behavior i still respect their position. i see alot where even christians dont feel if someone lifestyle doesnt line up with what god says that they dont have to listen to what theyre saying. thats a different bible Im reading out of. rebelling against authority..unless they want you to do something that directly goes against the Word...ESPECIALLY if youre using their behavior or mistakes to justify it..is unacceptable PERIOD!!! and thats a big part of our fallen nature..deflection and shifting blame. when we recieve orders or instructions we dont like..not only do we walk away mad but were going to use the shortcomings of the person giving them to us as an excuse not to do it. it isnt their mistakes we really have a problem with..we just dont like being told to do something we dont want to do but we need to feel justified in doing it.

noah gettng drunk and leaving himself exposed is indeed a picture of an important reason why god is so against drunkennes. i looked up the exact definition of drunkenness. DRUNKENNESS-becoming so overcome with alcohol that you lose control over your faculties. when someone gets that intoxicated theyre opne ot a will not that of God. renwal of the mind is one of the most important things we have to do in serving God. when the mind is clouded with things not of Him it leaves us open to things wed never otherwise do. im sure that one of the last things noah ever wanted was for anyone to see him drunk disgraced and disposed like that. and ham did the wrong thing in exposing his father the way he did and his other sons were right in not only covering him up but not wanting to see their father in that disgraced of a position. its called respect. even if they didnt respect what he did they respected his position. he was still their father. when i read this i thought of how often as a cna ive taken care of patients with dementia

who would wander out in the hallway undressed and exposed. i knew if they were in their right mind they never want to be seen like that so i made it a point to not only cover them but not stare at them. however im sorry to admit that i didnt always not talk about it with other people. today i know these people are not there to discuss and theyre not there for my amusement.

this is where the rightly dividing of His word comes in with also what pastor gary referred to as "divine tensions"..where one verse clearly speaks against NOT exposing someones sin to the world, yet theres other verses that dont say that. they tell us we MUST expose it. i believ in corinthians they discuss the procedure and chain of command for doing this. these passages seem to contradict each other. this is exactly why tring to wing it sans the Spirit spells disaster..

only thru this is how common sense becomes uncommon sense. it reveals all the pieces of the puzzle our natural minds just dont get right away. and the big thing were looking at here that distingishes this verse and other verses is MOTIVE. THE TRUTH MINUS LOVE IS NOT AND NEVER WILL BE A VIRTUE. the two-edges sword not only exposes the other sins we see but also the thoughts and intents of our heart. hem was in rebellion against his dad and its clear he didnt like him very much..probably because he didnt get to do everything he wanted so when he saw his dad mess up he took it and ran with it. expsoing his fathers foulups in his rebellios mind justified him continuing in his own. this is a tactic all teenagers ae familiar with..because it often works. a quick way to get mom and dad to let you do what u want is to expose their shortcomings.. UOU DID THE SAME THING WHEN YOU WERE MY AGE!!!! WHY CANT I????

my response is YAH!!..EXACTLY WHY IM ONTO YOU NOW AND AM SAYING NOPE!!!!! i used the failings of the people God used to carry the message to me thru for a long long LONG time as an excuse not to accept it..especially when it hit on some area of my life i didnt want to stop doing. HEY IT WORKED IN WEARING DOWN MOM AND DAD SO IT SHOULD WORK WITH GOD!! i even blamed them for my rejection of it!!..GOD if more people lived by what they preached then id listen to them.A however there came a point where i saw too many people who did live by His words who did walk the walk..i simply ran out of excuses to keep doing what i was doing and i ran out of people to blame.

there DOES come a point where i MUST be willing to expose a sin and call it for what it is. its NOT fun and its NOT comfortable.but first i ned to make sure that im doing it with the right motives and that my own house is being kept clean swept in order.

being called tempted and prepared:continued

many attorneys know how and are willing to use the technicalities of the letter of the legal law to get people that they KNOW are guilty of the urders they committed to get them off. thats really scary. being a sadistic psychopath and having a lawyer who KNOWS YOURE GUILTY. reminds me of the movie with al pacino AND JUSTICE FOR ALL when pacinos friend defended a client everyone knew was guilty and got him off on a technicality...impropehr admittances of evidence, improper search procedures, not being properly mirandized.. i dont remember. that night the guy went out and killed three kids.

this is a tactic that will work in a courtroom but it doesnt work with God. i cannot use the letter of His law to justify excuse or overlook my sin.. ILL JUST GO OUT AND SIN BECAUSE HEY DIDNT GOD SAY HE HAD TO FORGIVE ME IF I ASKED HIM TO??? if i did that this speaks volumes about the true nature of my relationship with God. BE NOT DECIEVED.. GOD IS NOTTTT MOCKED!!!! this is something that the 8th and 9th step in AA played an integral part in teaching me. gods grace is no license to overlook and forget about the wreckage of the people i burned with my cons lies and deceits. GOD has removed it as far as the east and the west and will never condemn me or convict me on them again. however i am to BRING FORTH FRUITS WORTHY OF REPENTENCE. H EART THAT IS TRULY CHANGED BY A TRUE ENCOUNTER WIL GOD WIL ALWAYS WANT TO FACE AND MAKE THINGS RIGHT WITH THESE PEOPLE!! i may not always have the chance but the WILLINGNESS absolutely must be there.

last but not least 4:8-10 "and satan took Him to a VERY VERY HIGH MOUNTAIN and showed him ALL THE KINGDOMS OF THE WORLD AND THEIR GLORY. and e said to him "all these i will give you if you fall down and worship me' and Jesus said "AWAY WITH YOU SATAN YOU WILL SERVE THE LORD GOD AND HIM ONLY WILL YOU SERVE.'" VERY VERY HIGH MOUNTAIN-satan is the consummate master of making everything look better bigger and higher than anything god has to offer. he shows it IN ALL ITS GLORY. how many young people do we see today in the hood who buy into the lie of quick easy money fast flashy cars ever faster flashier women by playing in the devils playground..crack, meth (lord only knows when some of these drugs evil cousins are going to make it over here. krokodil in russia-rots the body away and kills you within a year) and these verses dont just apply to the flash. these verses apply to all the situations that may come across our path thaat if we allow that door open just a crakc to let the enemy in he ll always convince that HIS way is much better than GODS way, Gods way isnt enough and its uesless it ineffective,dontyouknow God you just dont understand what its like. WRONG..He went thru everything you did..in the wilderness, during His three years and ON THE CROSS so He COULD understand. He BECAME them. youve gone thru SOME of them. try ALL of them

this is a conscientous choice to reject God and what He has to say in favor of our own agenda when god doesnt move fast enough or not at all> He never said Hed give us everything we wanted just what we NEEDED. pastor gary likes to say GOD WILL TAKE CARE OF OUR NEEDS NOT OUR GREEDS. theres not a single person ..myself included..who hasnt done something

that we KNEW was wrong we KNEW was against His word and we did it anyway. because if doing right didnt get us what we wanted then guess what we chose to do wrong. rejecting god and His word in favor of our own agenda is rampant in our world today. i look at famous people like angelina jolie who is a vocal atheist and im like WHY AM I NOT SURPRISED??? she and brad pitt are in a relationship that is a direct result of committing adultery. you think she doesnt know what His word says about it???? and theres nothing wrong of themselves with all the good works theyve done. but often we see this pattern as a sad attempt to redemm themselves and somehow on their own to deal with that conflict i know is there but theyve pushed it so far down. from my own personal experience and i see it here as well the rejection of the idea of Gods existence is usually the final result of seeing that THEIR way of approaching is has no power but seeing the God OF THE BIBLE is one that..unlike oprahs way of approach God ANY OLD WAY YOU WANT

..is one youre not goig to be able to bargain with control or manipulate. the God of the Bible is definitive not democratic. its not open for negotiation or discussion. seeing this like children they get mad stomp their feet then say YOU NEVER LET US DO WHAT WE WANT WE HATE YOU.

so i just wont believe in you. when you dont believe in god you never know when the devil is right there whispering in your ear. he has you by the short hairs and you think youre shucking and jiving.

look at all the choices weve often made agianst what His word has to say because certain things get promised to us that will make our life easier..or so we think. many people vote in people who are pro-choice because they get certain health and work benefits promised to them. desperation will drive many people to do things they previously thought were unthinkable..an addict will sell their own mother or even their baby for the next hit a bottle of everclear. ive pretended to like someone whom i knew had drugs and alcohol. i married both husbands in my past simply to get away from home and to drink. heck of a reason to marry someone isnt it. if Jesus had come back in my life during that time what do you think would have happened to me/ this is the part about His word while sweet in some places is very bitter in others. this is all about the not so nice promises we find in His word about those who die in their sins. forget the word PROMISE honey.

this is more like a GUARANTEE.

i remember back in the late 80 and early 90s when i first got into the health care fieldnd it didnt fly so close under the radar as it does now. it was very common for the mom and pop principle of keeping a nursing home or rehab open thru genrous benefactors who often had loved ones in those facilities so they took a personal interest in them. i knew about alot of excellent cnas who ended up getting fired..not because of abuse..but because of people who were paying to help keep a facility open..didnt like them. IF YOU DONT FIRE THEM WELL CUT OFF YOUR MONEY.. and often they flat out told them. doing what was right..which would have been standing behind their employee..was pushed out in favor of not losing that money by which its loss would have put them out of a job. rejcting what is right over what is easy is always self serving. we may try to rationalize and excuse it but the people were truly thinking of is ourselves.

HIS WAY IS NARROW AND IS OFTEN HARD. THE WAY OF SATAN which bythe way hell tell us is OUR WAY..IS BROAD AND LEADS ALWAYS TO DESTRUCTION

anytime i go thru something and i think god couldnt possibly understand all i have to do is read this and see that just aint true

being called, tempted, and prepared.

in MATTHEW 3:16-17 as well as in MATTHEW 4:1-11, we get one of the most clear cut pictures of the HUMANITY of Jesus. in MATTHEW 3-16-17 it talks about how Jesus appears before His cousin, john the baptist to be baptized in the river jordan and to be annointed with the Holy Spirit. it was His HUMANITY that had to be annointed with the Spirit of God not His DEITY.

deity is ALREADY annointed. it was his humanity that would begin His earthly ministry. it was JESUS not CHRIST that was His earth name JESUS CHRIST is my LORD AND SAVIOR but its JESUS who is the SON OF MAN. in 3:16-17 and in 4:1-111 we see how He was annoinTd and empowered by the spirit to move into His calling in His HUMANITY because it was His HUMANITY in which he would be tempted in all points..as we were..but without sin. because He was also DEITY BEING GOD He never yielded to the temptations that satan presented to Him in the wilderness, but He still experienced them in His flesh. its not a sin to be TEMPTED. HE was tempted. its a sin to GIVE IN TO IT..TO LET IT SET UP CAMP GROW HAVE BABIES. and it was His HUMANITY that came back at satan ALWAYS with THE WORD. even though he WAS the Word.

His experience in the wilderness is the example of how we are to approach sin when the Sprit leads us thru the wilderness. the spirit doesnt ever create sin it simply leads us thru it. the spirit is our teacher always eading us back to the word. its when we are in the wilderness that we show what were about..when satan comes at us we fight back with the word GOD EITHER IS OR HE ISNT WHICH ONE IS IT TO BE??? it also shows the many WAYS in which satan will try to tempt us. he doesnt just stop at one way. satan is a liar and the father of lies. he doesnt ever quit lying..he just becomes better at it.

first off, we see in 4:1-4 how jesus fasted forty days and nights and he became hungry. satan attempts to come at Him saying, "if youre the Son of God ask that these stones be turned into bread." Jesus answers saying "thou shall not live by bread alone but by EVERY WORD THAT COMES OUT OF THE MOUTH OF GOD." His humanity NEVER stepped outside of the Word of God even though in His diety He WAS THE WORD. sometimes we allow our hunger whether it be for food or a spiritual hunger and we look to the word for answers and the answers we get arent the ones our tiching ears want to hear, satan will tempt us with things that lead us outside of the word. or well hang onto the things that pleases us but when we bite into something that is bitter we spit it out. we dont want it. in REVELATIONS 10:9-10 talks about how His word often tastes sweet as honey in our mouths but when it becomes that sharp two-edged sword going into our bellies it can become very bitter. WE LIKE THE IDEA OF GOD BUT DONT TELL US WE HAV TO ACCEPT JESUS...WERE ALL FOR THE FREE GIFT OF GRACE BUT DONT TELL US ANYTHING ABOUT SACRIFICE. what my granny on my daddys side used to say YOU GOTTA TAKE THE BITTER WITH THE SWEET..THIS MEANS EVERY WORD COMING OUT OF GOD MOUTH. not just the ones we like.

in 4:5-7 where satan leads Jesus to a pinnacle saying "if youre the Son of God throw yourself down. for it is written 'He shall give His angels charge over thee, lest you slip and dash yourself on a stone'" and Jesus says "it is written AGAIN..YOU SHAL NOT TEMPT THE LORD YOUR GOD." this is where we see satan tempting us to play on God intelligence by using the technicalities of the letter of the law to avoid the consequneces of ignoring the big picture.. STRAINING AT A GNAT AND SWALLOWING THE CAMEL. this is where the pharisees ended up missing God..thru the technicalities of their beloved torah that they took such great pride in wielding over people..oftyen using them to justify even greater sins. im a huge criminology buff

and im constantly appalled and feel a deep anger over how often many kilers get off on technicalities. i just read a book about a 12 year old who had her boyfriend slaughter her family so they could be together. and canadian law is set up to where because they use to the law to rehabilitate not to punish because shes a minor according to their laws her identity is protected and she could move in next door to you and youd never know she was a murderer. its clearly a crime where she should be locked up forever..when someone does something this coldblooded..when there is no history of abuse..this is NOT someone i want to see walking around. but due to legal glitches SHES PROTECTED.

HOWEVER THIS MINDSET DOESNT WORK WITH GOD. many people will seize onto the message ofthe free gift of grace..all you do is ask for it. and since its grace not our works that save us we can do what we want right??? i saw a movie PILLAR OF THEEARTH where they believed they could be forgiven for a sin before they committed it. its obvious tat when someone see grace as a license to do what they want and god is going to overlook it or excuse it..theyre saved right??thru grace???? that they havent had a true encounter with god. but many people buy into this lie or simply chose to believe that they can play with god and not understanding they cannot serve god and satan at the same time. you cannot use the technicalities you may find in His word to justify things he speaks against. this iis called having a conscience seared as with a hot iron.

accountability comes before repentance.

i remember reading how the arrival of the order of John the Baptist and the arrival of Jesus into the world was in oder for a specific reason. Jesus came to prepare the world for the Cross and then Ressurection. the order of SALVATION then the NEW BIRTH. but first had to comthe message of REPENTANCE. the ABCS A. I CANT B. HE CAN C. I THINK ILL LET HIM.

but theres something that has to come ven before REPENTANCE. its ACCOUNTABILITY. theres no resurrection without salvation and theres no salvation without repentence. but theres no repentance without accountability. and accountability is the one part of the equation in which this process of the new birth wasnt covered spedifically by someone coming into the world with a specific message. that is the part that god left up to us. and reptnance and accountability are two things that do not stop at the new birth. theyre an ongoing process. they continue thruout my life as i continue to walk with Him. i will never repent of anything if im not willing to be accountable

for it. satan can have no foothold in my life unless i open the door to him first.my natural tendency in my flesh to want to shift blame is not due to satan. its due to the fallen condition of the flesh nature that came from that separation from god which DID start thru the orignal temptation from satan.

shifting of blame from self to something or someone else i used to think was learned. until i read GENESIS 3:11-13 "AND GOD SAID "WHO TOLD YOU YOU WERE NAKED? DID YOU EAT OF THE TREE THAT I TOLD YOU NOT TO EAT FROM. AND THE MAN SAID "THE WOMAN GAVE ME THE FRUIT AND I DID EAT.' AND THE WOMAN SAID "THE SERPENT BEGUILED ME AND I DID EAT IT'" shifting of blame is an integral part of the flesh nature and comes from that deep selfishness which is at the root of all sin. GENESIS 3:7 "SHE SAW THE FRUIT WAS PLEASANT TO LOOK AT AND DESIRED TO MAKE ONE WISE SO SHE TOOK THE FRUIT AND ATE IT AND GAVE IT TO HER HUSBAND" he didnt eat the fruit because SHE TOLD HIM TO and she didnt eat it because THE SERPENT TOLD HER TO. they BOTH ate it because they were SELFCENTERED and in a sate of ingratitude towards God feelg what he had given them was no longer enough and wanted more. their unwillingness to repent was what got them kicked out of the garden not the factthat they ate the fruit he told them not to. and they didnt repent because they werent willing to be accoutable for what they did.

this is what SHIFTING BLAME looks like- i REBELLED AGAINST YOU GOD AND ATE THE FRUIT BECAUSE THE WOMAN OR THE SERPENT TOLD ME TO.

this is what ACCOUNTABILITY AND REPENTENCE looks like- I REBELLED AGAINST YOU GOD AND ATE THE FRUIT.....PERIOD!!!!! NO SIFTING BLAME NO EXTERNAILIZING IT. I REBELLED AGAINST YOU GOD BECAUSE I WAS SELF CENTERE

when i first got sober and i was working thru the amends i had to make to the people id burned thru my cons lies and deceits i tried to say i conned you BECAUSE I WAS DRIVEN BY MY NEED FOR ALCOHOL AND DRUGS AND IT WAS THE DRUGS AND ALCOHOL THAT DROVE ME TO DO IT. the truth of the matter was that I CONNED YOU..PERIOD!!!! MY EXTERNAL BEHAVIOR IS NOTHING MORE THAN A SYMPTOM

OF MY SIN NATURE the truth was i did it because i was completely and utterly SELF CENTERED. when i was reading about adam and eve i could quickly identify with my own selfish nature in it and how ive always excercised the free will that God gave me TO CHOOSE OR NOT CHOOSE HIM!!

EVERYTHING IS MY LIFE TODAY IS A CHOICE

i remember an old sermon of pastor garys called TEAR IT OUT!! it was based on matthew 5:29

"IF YOUR RIGHT EYE OFFENDS YOU TEAR IT OUT!!!!" it doesnt literally mean to gouge out an eye what its say is if you see something and its causing you to stumble and fall DONT LOOK AT IT!!! the whole gist of this verse is about the flesh nature the sin nature where self will ALWAYS runs riot! DONT FEED IT!!!! a while back i was beginning to have a major problem with my fourlegged brat waking up during the night wanting to be fed and snuggled. once i gave into him the first time he expected it the next night. and the next. and the next. before i knew it i was having a major problem on my hands. one day i woke up and realized SORRY BUDDY TIME TO TOW THE LINE HERE!!! needless to say he started pitching major shirley temple fits..complete with gnashing his teeth against the bars of the cage and flinging his whole body against its walls. what was i to expect. id been indulging him and petting him for several months tthen all of a sudden i stopped??!!! well thats the way it is with my sin nature. if i quit feeding my spirit man and start feeding my bratty sin nature..same thing. its not only cunning and far stronger than i ever will be its also NOT PICKY!! its not choosy about what portal of entry you choose to let it set up camp, how you feed it. it just wants to be fed petted and indulged. its not a sin to be tempted. if it was then Jesus sure sinned in the wilderness where He was tempted

where would i go?

one of the most crucial things ive come to understand..and to do otherwise i may as well take the entire book of Acts and throw it out.....over the past 2+ years.....in my walk with God is how imperative it is get involved with a local Word based church. is everything going to run smoothly
once i do this? of course not. if im looking for a church of perfect people who do everything perfectly all i have to do is look in the BIBLE to see that thats not going to happen. looking at the lives of king david who ran the gammit of every sin you could name, samson who was about as close to a textbook case of a narcissist as you could get, abraham who tried to pimp out his own wife to save his own hide, even joseph who provoked the wrath of his brothers to a large degree by being a smart-alecky kid who didnt know when to keep his mouth shut...uhmmm NO my finding a body of believers who do everything nice and wonderful..i dont think thats going to happen.. all these examples are given to show that God doesnt use perfect people..just forgiven ones. fellowshipping with people i may not always like.. i need to remember that i may not always be THEIR cup of tea. in AA theres a saying that applies most definitely to any body os Spirit filled believers PRINCIPLES OVER PERSONALITIES. i have to LOVE others even if i dont LIKE THEM all the time. that IS His greatest commandment. and its not an option. and it doesnt just apply to those who love and like ME.

its by learning to live out this very basic principle amongst others in close quarters with other believers on a regular basis that is largely responsible as to whether or not im going to develop spiritually in a healthy mature way. we have a product we want to sell to the world THE GOSPEL. the local church is like a laboratory where we take that product and show the world how well it works. can i take offense when people complain about me? of course i can? can i take offense and go to another church? of course i can. but im going to run into the same thing there. wherever i go there i am and im the lowest common denominator in everything. in the AA big book theres a chapter called 'a vision for you" its all about THIS IS WHAT MY LIFE CAN BE LIKE IF I GET AND STAY SOBER. THIS IS ALSO WHAT MY LIFE WILL BE LIKE IF I DRINK. I KNOW WHAT MY LIFE CAN BE LIKE IF I CONTUNUE FELLOWSHIPPING WITH THE SAINTS. I ALSO KNOW WHAT WIL HAPPEN IF I WALK AWAY. of course its easier to walk away from any situation when offended instead of looking to see where im the lowest common denominator but theres no growth.

to not get and stay grounded in a local church like i said is like taking the book of Acts and rip it out. once i do that as when i do that with any part of the Word i may as well throw out the whole Word while im at it because none of it is going to make sense anymore. The Word of God is full of his PROMISES. its also full of the NOT SO NICE promises of what happens when you turn your back on Him. theyre not promises. theyre more like GUARANTEES. if i quit going to church then ive already walked away from Him. especialy when its rooted in offense. thats an act rooted in pride and rebellion. and pride and rebellion are the equivalent to witchcraft. im taking MY will back thinking i can do a better job at running my life than He can. and He wont stop me if i want to leave. to do this is like asking for a refund on my misery. IF I GO MY WAY AND SIN AGAIN A MUCH WORSE THING WILL HAPPEN TO ME. if i dont have a system of checks and balances
all i have to go on is my own itching ears. its like taking a class without an instructor. the manual wil stop making any sort of sense.

IRON SHARPENS IRON. i remember in the past when i didnt think i needed to be in church and thought i was getting all these revelations of His Word that were special and unique. they were all squirelly. WEIRD revelations. people looked at me doing the blonde head tilt like HUH??????
none of us hear from God perfectly but when what i was getting wasnt even in the ballpark...we have a problem here. to have that black and white tile foundation thats solid and based on His Word i have to have as part of it checks and balances people i trust that i can talk to pray with to make sure that what im hearing IS from Him and not coming from the realm of my own addictive thinking.

being in AA ive seen from happens when people relapse. theres a pattern that almost always happens in chronological order.
1. they quit calling their sponsor
2.they quit going to meetings.
3. RETURN OF OLD BEHAVIORS.
4.then they pick up a drink. picking up a drink isnt the relapse. its the LAST STAGE of the relapse.

THIS IS THE SAME PRINCIPLE OF WHAT WILL HAPPEN IF I QUIT GOING TO CHURCH!!
1 i lose touch with fellow believers ive established a network with
2 i quit going to church
3 i quit spending time with Him and His word
4 my old character will come back.
IVE ALREADY WALKED AWAY I JUST DONT KNOW IT YET!!!

COMING FULL CIRCLE. NOTHING IN GODS WORLD IS PRIVATE

in the past two years, ive seen many of my prayers which were put out there years ago concerning my sister finally starting to take fruit.seeds were indeed planted but i know now that the time had not yet come for them to blossom. the answer as to why finally and very suddenly came to me this past wednesday as anna had us share during home fellowship over at lynns teatimonies of how God has answered prayers involving our families. i remembered what pastor gary said som weeks back SIN AFFECTS EVERYONE AROUND YOU....EVEN WHEN ITS DONE IN PRIVATE. something happens in the spiritual realm concerning those around you when your own heart isnt right with God even if they dont see what youre doing. its like the seed that gets dropped and the birds eat it. the reason why years ago my sister didnt recieve what i was saying was for the very same reason that virtually everyone in my church shunned me though i was far too reprobate to see it at the time. i still hadnt lost enough to come out of that denial. THE CHILDREN OF UNRIGHTEOUSNESS ARE OFTEN SMARTER CONCERNING THEIR OWN THAN WE ARE. it was like YOU CANT HUSTLE A HUSTLER HONEY. deep in my heart i knew i wasnt being "mistreated"...they simply were onto me. they knew a liar when they saw one. however likewith my sister they may not even realize why they dont hear you..theres simply something in the spiritual realm thats "off" and they can feel it.
my life islike a gateway into the lives of others and what i do can either be a witness or cause others to stumble even when they dont see what im doing. its no coincidence that a nations leaders are like gateways into the lives of the people of their country. i remember hearing bob yandian talking about what clinton was doing in his private life and how at that time the country was rife with sexual sin. there isno such a thing as victimless crime and sin that doesnt affect tothers. period

IN THE WORLD BUT NOT OF IT vs OF THE WORLD BUT NOT IN IT

as i have been studying the Gospels and saw how frequently Jesus butted heads with the pharisees whose deviousness and underhandedness......... plus the sly cattiness not so different from what one would find in your hen circle, do-goody charity type of women..which seems to be a mindset in ALL people whose place their sense of significance in their own goodness and others no goodness...a couple of things came back to my remembrance. i remember what pastor gary was talking about how its impossible to change the world when youre the same substance as the world. i also remember listening to an excerpt from an aussie lady preacher by the name of christine caine when she pointed out tre difference between BEING IN THE WORLD but not OF IT and BEING OF THE WORLD but not IN IT. i saw how they were constantly trying to trap Jesus. for example any fool who knew anything about OT law could take one look at the situation of the woman caught in the act of adultery and be able to tell that the pharisees had set her up simply as a way of trying to catch Jesus contradicting the law..even though He made it very clear he came NOT to destroy the law but to fulfill it. why do i think it was a trick bag?
because in the OT both the man and the woman caught in the act of adultery was subject to being stoned. plus look at when barrabas and Jesus was presented by pilate before the masses.
it was the pharisees and scribes who whipped the people into a frenzy to hav Him crucified. during His trial they out and out lied in their testimony against HIm repeatedly. after His resurrection they bribed the soldiers to lie and say His disciples came and stole His body even though moving that stone with a hundred men was impossible and when Jesus spoke when He taught in the synagogues He SPOKE AS ONE WITH AUTHORITY and NOT AS THE PHARISEES. even thought Jesus WAS God He STILL was speaking from the point of His HUMANITY to say WIHTOUT GOD WE ARE NOTHING!!!!!

the mindset of these men went far beyond the evidence of their hypocritical natures..in that even thought they turned their nose up at the common folk even the soldiers whom they spit on to do their dirty work for them. the very core of the duplicity in their characters was that they confused being SEPARATIST with HOLINESS!!!! they thought that by COMING OUT OF THE WORLD it somehow made them BETTER THAN THE WORLD. so they shunned the world around them forgetting about what all the types and shadows really meant which pointed to the one who came for the very world they rejected. the problem was that all the pettiness all the cattiness all the dishonesty and manipulation which is so integral in our fallen natures they took right along with them. all the backbiting the gossip NOTHING HAD CHANGED.!!!!! and they say that women in your sorority type of setting are catty backbiting blackballing and vicious???!!!! OH PLEASE!!!! rather than remaining IN THE WORLD and being salt and light IN THE WORLD they came OUT OF THE WORLD but kept all its nastiness!!! of course no one saw any real authority in them. they were all about giving themselves attaboys AND SNUBBING THE WORLD AROUND THEM but God wasnt tin the midst of any of it.

i see now why Jesus so went after them while displaying the love and mercy of God to the tax collectors the prostitutes. true these werent people that society would exactly look up to but you knewwhere you stood with them. but THESE MEN?? you couldnt trust as far as you could throw them the most dangerous lie is when we lie to ourselves. but i also have to remember as blind as these men were He also loved them and died for them too

zaccheus

id been meaning to get around to blogging this for a couple of weeks now so here goes. i remember a couple of sundays ago when pastor gary was talking about zaccheus, the chief tax collector whom nobody liked and was so short that he had to climb up the tree to see Jesus. as i was listening to pastor gary speak, god really opened up my heart as to how there was nothing that Jesus spoke of and nobody that He encountered that we dont come across today i saw hoe Jesus looked beyond the outside and ministered to the inside man behind the outer actions.
a couple of things really stood out...the fact that zaccheus WAS so short and that he was in a position to rob his people. i see someone who all his life was probably what we would call today a geek...smarter than the average bear, sort of an oddball, probably someone who got made fun of, the kid whom the neighborhood bullies probably took his lunch money, got beat up on more than one occasion. but he was smart. go figure they didnt pick dummies to be auditors and tax collectors. we see this alot today..kids who have a miserable childhood because people just dont like them very much who later in life get put in positions of power and authority that give them a chance to get their own back, where everything they do when they rob step on and fleece other is like saying HOW DO YOU LIKE ME NOW!!! im pretty sure if you try to establish a sense of loyalty to zaccheus"s people his response to you would have been LOYALTY??? TO MY
PEOPLE?? WHY??WHAT DID MY OWN PEOPLE EVER DO FOR ME?? i think he thought that by being in a position of power wealth and authority would somehow banish that frightened kid who just was trying to get thru another day without being hungry because his lunch money got stolen without getting beat up without being called a nerd and a geek too afraid to tell anyone knowing it would made it worse for him. that finally being able to get even with his tormentors would silence that deep need just to be loved accepted for who he was to have friends. but it never did. that frightened little boy was who was climbing up that tree to see Jesus because he knew that deep emptiness inside of him hadnt been and never would be filled by any of that. thats all of us who are lost..that frightened kid who never ever healed. some of us were able to let Him in behind the mask because we saw He WAS the one who COULD heal us.
many of us however never do.

zaccheus being willing to give half his goods to the poor and restore manyfold what he had stolen came from that place that matthew 6:14-15 talks about..in order to recieve forgiveness from God he first had to be willing to forgive those who had wronged him. and forgive himself

stewards of the earth

the issue of the environment has taken on ridiculous heigths. i think much of it is a byproduct of how secular humanism has violently rejected God and attempts to place stock in their own sense of "goodness" WE DONT NEED GOD TO BE GOOD!!!!! the problem with this is whenever Jeus ISNT the center of all this is that our focus tends to become distorted and on the wrong things. of course as believers we should love and cherish this glorious creation that God gave us and when we hear those who say that its irrevelant that one day well have a new earth and heaven it just gives us as a whole a bad name.we are also to occupy until He comes and to be good and faithful stewards over what He has given us NOW. ONE DAY THE EARTH WILL CLAP ITS HANDS THE SEA WILL CLAP ITS HANDS THE OCEANS WILL ROAR AND IF WE DONT PRAISE HIM THE STONES THEMSELVES WILL CRY OUT!!! and of course i value animal life..anyone who has endured my babbling on about my fourlegged bratty samson
knows how big an animal lover i am. however i have a huge problem when we see the very same people who are pro-life over the rights of a sea turtle or a tiki bird being pro-choice over the rights of an unborn child. ive actually heard of women willing to have an abortion so they can be free of the responsibilities of parenthood thus being able to pursue their career of protecting the environment....their priorities are way out of whack. and i remember some years back an episode of LAW AND ORDER which always rips cases out of the headlines about a famous case involving GREENPEACE a radical environmentalist group who actually condones acts of terrorism to promote their cause to preserve the environment. they set a building on fire and it turned out many people perished in the flames. the mastermind of the acts response was chilling... IN A WAR THERE ARE ALWAYS CASUALTIES. his cause was more important that the lives of his fellow man. this is what always happens in any situation where we preserve our own twisted sense of righteousness after turning our back on God........we leave a door open to the demonic. there is a definite satanic force behind the section of the environmentalist movment that is anti-God. its called THE SPIRIT OF THE ANTICHRIST!!! people are Gods most valuable commodity and we are the ones who in Jesus name makes satan shake in fear.
get rid of people and he gets rid of a huge chunk of the competition because he know they were created with gifts and calling that could destroy his kingdom. whenever we arent God centered we always think WERE in control not seeing that its SATAN whose existance we deny controlling us. so its little wonder that the very same people who often lobby for peace and justice are often the most violent people youll ever want to meet. whats more violent than ripping a baby out of its mothers womb before its time? attacking a whaling ship endangering the lives of human being to protect a whale? MATTHEW 6:23-24 "IF THE EYE BE SINGLE THEN THE WHOLE BODY IS FULL OF LIGHT. IF THE LIGHT BE EVIL THEN THE WHOLE BODY IS DARK...AND IF THE LIGHT INSIDE OF YOU BE DARKNESS HOW GREAT IS THAT DARKNESS!!! " these things are what happens when people become so decieved that they actually have their priorities out of order and think that they are serving the greater good!!!!!

the root of the carnal nature is ALL ABOUT ME!!! WHAT ABOUT WHAT I WANT??? DONT I HAVE A SAY IN ANY OF THIS???? IIIIIIIIIIIIIIMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMME like a never ending litany. this is the weapon that satan most often uses to enslave and entrap us with traps he sets for us. and its very self deceptive. when we allow others to penetrate that shield of faith and push our buttons we immediately rise to the defense or even offense and our carnal nature will always tell us that were in control were getting one up on our opponents YOURE NOT TELLING ME WHAT I CAN AND CANNOT DO!!!!!!! a common lie satan will tell us is that somehow ..as insane and twisted the thinking behind this is......two wrong equal a right, forgetting that what OTHERS are doing isnt the issue. the issue isnt what others are and arent doing....WHAT DOES GOD HAVE TO SAY ABOUT IT??? WHAT WOULD JESUS DO IN THIS SITUATIION????!!!!!!! pastor gary hit on a crucial truth two weeks ago when he defined humility...it isnt being a doormat.....its holding off on the self-proclaimed right to do what we want to do and acting on it because there is a higher agenda at stake. humility is not only remaining teacheable but its also picking your battles. there is a time to yield and a time to draw the line. if its just all about proving im right and exercising the right to do what I
want then it means its time to let it go. however when it directly goes against what GOD says then its time to draw the line but there is a way of doing it. i was getting so caught up in my right to do what i wanted that i was forgetting to live by what His Words said. it was all about IM IN CONTROL YOURE NOT GOING TO CONTROL ME!!!! i didnt see that in my vain efforts to exercise control over my life that all i was doing in the eyes of God AND others was sabotaging myself. i was looking at WHAT ARE THEY DOING and not seeing GOD ISNT PLEASED WITH THIS. a doubleminded man is unstable in all his ways......by behaving one way in the presence of my fellowbelievers and my coworkers and then acting dramatically different on nighst i was out in an effort to defy those who told me i couldnt do what i wanted
only succeeded in painting a picture of me as unstable and someone not to be trusted. that duplicity of character scares people and when they see you on facebook or wherever posting all things about God and then when youre around them behaving totally the opposite theyre going to look at you as kind of nuts. pastor gary nailed it when he said whatever we put over God we WILL become enslaved by. alot of things we become enslaved by often happens because we leave a side door open to it thru bitterness and unforgiveness much of my unforgiveness was due to the fact that i saw in some of the people closest to me that their first priority was being out for themselves and as much as they may have loved me they clearly loved themselves more and they made decisions concerning me because they were looking out for and protecting themselves. well there are several parts to this. the first and this plays a crucial element in forgiving others......one is looking at MY PART IN IT- i am ALWAYS the lowest common denominator in everything that happens in my life. people tend not to talk about you unless you give them reason to talk about you and what they saw was someone clearly going back to their old ways. they also tend not to protect themselves from you when they dont see you as someone they need to protect themselves from. i was only looking at life thru the eyes of my own carnal nature and seeing those whom i couldnt trust because they didnt have my best interests in mind
and failing to see that they were doing what they were doing because they didnt trust me either.
the second was seeing that in taking my eyes off of GOD and fixating on what I wanted what was and what was not fair to me and seeing everything from a carnal perspective was i lost sight of the big picture. i strained at a gnat and swalllowed and almost choked on the camel.
HUMILITY ISNT LETTING OTHERS WALK ALL OVER YOU. ITS LOOKING AT THE BIG PICTURE AND SAVES ITS ENERGY FOR THE PRIMARY THINGS. the carnal nature focuses on defending things that God isnt happy with and forgets what His will for our lives is.

BULL TERRIER "KILLING NATURE"

LUKE 2:35: A SWORD WILL PIERCE YOUR HEART

its been awhile since ive blogged in here. ive often wondered about what simeon was talking about when he looked right into marys eyes when Jesus was nothing more than an infant, and said "A SWORD WILL PIERCE YOUR HEART." as described in luke 2:35. he WAS referring to His coming death as simeon knew as few of the elders knew that the fulfillment of prophecy was unfolding right before them, that one day she would have to eatch Him die, but i also knew it was much more than that, even more than the fact that she would also have to suffer the pain that would come from the fact that Jesus would never be a normal child. more than that. MUCH MORE..BUT WHAT??? at home fellowship, i remember linn telling esther
during prayer that she was a woman whose heart had been pierced in many places. once gain WHAT DOES THAT MEAN????? there was a part of me that understood that soon i would find out personally. i realize now that hearing about how someone close to mes heart was pierced
was something that God had meant for me to hear.

i remember very well my first marriage. his name was grant and he turned out to be someone whose behavior fell well within the perimeters of a sadistic sociopath, whose hatred of women
was so deep that he even hated his own daughter. he came very close to murdering me on more than one occasion. it wasnt just a matter of mere abuse. he wanted me dead. for years i hated him, lived in fear and hatred of him, and saw myself as a victim. recently, for some strange reason, i decided to research him online. i came across a web caption showing that he had passed away two years ago, and it gave the name of his sister who was on facebook. i looked her up and i wrote to her. i was wondering how he died seeing that he was only 56 years old. the email i got back was heartbreaking. he had died from complications of hapatitis c as a result of sharing dirty needles several years back. he died the way that he lived....drunk high full of rage and alone. he was dead for several days before he was found.

as i was reading this, a question rose inside of me....WHY DID YOU MARRY HIM???? THE TRUTH!!!! NOT SOME PRETTY FICTION YOUD LIKE TO HAVE YOURSELF BELIEVE?? the answer was simple... i married him to get away from home so i could live life as if it was one big party, and grant had the drugs. THATS A SAD PATHETIC REASON TO MARRY SOMEONE!! that was the moment when i understood what it meant A SWORD WILL PIERCE YOUR HEART!!!! its that moment of not only allowing the Holy Spirit to convict you in line with His truth, but actually allowing it to be that two edged sword, cutting right into the depths of your heart, revealing all those twisted motives, and hidden things of dishonesty, and seeing it for what it is..its ugly. it PAINED me to see that. i know now that i was never going to forgive grant for what he had done to me until i first saw that my part in what had happened to be was HUGE. this was also the first time i really saw how id lived my life in the past.. i went rocking thru life not having a clue. i didnt have a clue, i just went thru life, blissfully ignorant, not accepting responsibility for anything (ididnt think i HAD any responsibilities. mommy and daddy never made me accept responsibility. why should anyone else?) i thought i could just do anything i wanted to do, with no repercussions. i was like the little girl on sesame street LALALALALAL down the street, then wondering why i got a gun stuck into my back. i used people back then, i just didnt take into consideration that there just might be someone who came across my path who was the wrong person to do that to. he wasnt stupid. he was hip.. SHES USING ME. when you do something for selfish reasons, it will always reach out and bite you.

this is one of these postcards from God that i needed to see. it was like looking at a snapshot of my life fastforward in another 10-12 years if i had kept going in the direction i was going.seeing myself at nearly 60, doing what i was doing at 20 to get high...FILL IN THE BLANKS, its not pretty. today i understand that everyone deserves to have people who want to be around them because they love them, not for what they can get from them. i see what God pulled me out of, not only eternal damnation ,but also an early grave. i am grateful for a God who saw when i needed to have my heart pierced

THE CAVE OF ADULLUM.

yesterday, when i was on my way to complete a job assignment, i was listening to this cd that was a teaching on the early life of king david. it was called, "the cave of adullum" that period of david life where hed been running from king saul, and relying on his own efforts to solve his dilemna, rather than God, and hed reached a point where he had nowhere left to run to. "the cave of adullum" is that period in our lives that is that watershed place, where were forced to see that OUR way isnt working, and we have no alternative, BUT to turn to Him. with me, that
"cave of adullum' had been that period, which had basically been MY WHOLE LIFE where id been blaming others for my problems, and i was now in a situation where id run out of people to blame, it was being forced to see that i was the lowest common denominator in every situation, w(hich always seemed to revolve around the same issue) i wound up in.

during periods of revelation that God leads you into, often, teaching that was previously LOGO..meaning i KNEW it was true, but hadnt yet hit an area that made it personal..suddenly becomes RHEMA. it was concerning PRIORITIES. it spoke of how, when things on your list of priorities get out of order, your whole life gets messed up. "HE WHO HAS WILL CONTINUE TO GAIN, BUT HE WHO HAS NOT WILL LOSE EVEN WHAT HE ALREADY HAS" recently, i had problems come up on my job that seemed like they were sudden. i was forced to confront the fact that issues in my life i had blamed those closet to me for were ones that carried over inot every other area of my life. rather than deal with my issues, id always run from them, in one way or another. a common way was to shift blame. i was told by God, when this teaching onpriorities came back to remembrance, to look at my order of priorties. i remember hearing this about how they should be.
1.God
2.loved ones
3your church and home fellowship
4.relationship with employer and fellow employees.
5. all the details of life
well, this is what had happened here. i was having issues with loved ones, and how id chosen to deal with them was to move those loved ones down my list of priorities to where they were close to the bottom. in essence, put them out of my mind. my list of priorities ended up looking like this.
1.God.
2.church and home fellowhsip
3. relationship with employer and fellow workers.
4.loved ones
5. all the details of life.
THINGS THAT MAKE YOU GO HMMM!!! my priorities were seriously out of whack here.
God, for a long time, will work with us, when were being stubborn and rebellious, and be loving and patient, because Hes just that way. however, there comes a time, when, just like any other stubborn, rebellious child, Hes going to end up prying things from our fingers, not out of punishment, but, because, He wants us to see He LOVES US and is trying to move us to a new levels. this often involves a test that He usually doesnt place in front of us, but He sees we have to pass in order to grow. He also wants us to see He is a God of order. THINGS MUST BE DONE DECENTLY AND IN ORDER!!!! even FAITH wont get it if im not in line with His WILL.
whatever i put on top that doesnt belong there i will end up losing along with everything elsE.

this was always my M.O.......F.E.A.R
Forget
Everthing
And
Run

this is how HE wants F.E.A.R to look like.
Face
Everything
And
Restore.

DISCIPLINE AND OBEDIENCE

i was reading one of pastor garys posts on just how important discipline and obedience is in our daily walk with God. he also talked about ACTIVELY listening. this means HEARING it and actually APPLYING it. meaning i need to do what im told, even when i dont WANT or FEEL LIKE doing it. my flesh might moan (and the flesh nature DOES tent to be whiny) OI WHY SHOULD I BOTHER? but the DISCIPLINE of His Word, as well as His Word itself says DONT BE A BABY, QUIT WHINING, JUST DO IT. often, my flesh nature, when it doesnt want to do something, reminds me of the time i made an english steak and kidney pie. i allowed
alan to cajole me into tasting a piece of the kidney..i was like a little baby, when it gets something in its mouth it doesnt like, like a mouth of cod liver oil, makes a face, roLls it around in its mouth, knowing that sooner or later, hes going to have to swallow it. it was AWFUL! im kinda like that, when i taste something in Gods Word i dont like, but the Spirit is cmon downnnnn the hatch ATTA GIRL!!!!! it never ceases to amaze me just how FEELINGS oriented my flesh nature is, and if i had my way, at least half of what i read in Gods Word id spit right out like that baby, and look for something much tastier as fast as i could, regardless that it may be bad for me.

a good analogy to what pastor gary was talking about......its very frustrating, when i try to get through to loved ones, who are getting dangerously overweight, that in order to lose weight, and KEEP IT OFF, they have to be willing to do it the RIGHT way.
1. drinking WATER
2. QUIT SMOKING!!!!!!!
3.go to the gym, and start a rigorous cardiovascular routine
4. a balanced diet, including all the major food groups. a biggie here is not eating veggies that are cooked to death.
5. the chips, crisps, and foods deepfried in lard have got to go.
instead, they keep looking for diets,tailormade to suits their GREEDS, not their NEEDS ( yep, i borroowed that one from pastor gary), quick fixes to BOOM!! take the weight off quick, so they can get back to what theyre doing as quick as possible, but making no sacrifice or permanent change. then they want to make a fad diet out of the fad diet. they want to do things THEIR way, not the RIGHT way.

this selfserving, spoiled, undisciplined approach to GOD was a major factor in my vehement
rejection of the Gospel for so many years, as is it is with so many others who reject it. DONT TELL ME I HAVE TO GO THRU JESUS TO GET TO GOD! ILL DO THIS MY WAY.
and the truth is, my rejection of the Gospel wasnt just limited to knowing i had to accept Jesus to get to God, it was everything i already knew i had to be willing to renounce AFTER i decided to follow in His footsteps. it was virtually everything i was doing. in AA, i liked the idea of being able to create MY OWN version of God, that would let me operate a barter system with Him,
thati if id id this, Hed overlook that. I fully believe now that He healed me of my addictions at that time, because He did see an open door where A PART of me was seeking Him...Hes persistant, He wanted me in His fold. however, the God I chose was nothing more than A FORM
of Godliness, but still DENYNG His power. discipline and obedience requires SUBMISSION. and i still wasnt ready to submit to anyone.
DONT TELL ME I HAVE TO LOVE PEOPLE, EVEN IF I DONT LIKE THEM.
DONT TELL ME I HAVE TO STOPP ALL THESE THINGS IM DOING. I DONT WANT YOUR GOSPEL..ITS TOO HARD. ILL JUST CREATE MY OWN GOSPEL.

the discipline that comes thru building my life on His precepts means im having to learn how to do EVERYTHING in my life in completely the opposite way of the way ive done everything my whole life. it requires making His principles the core of everything that i do in my daily life..even when i dont WANT TO. it means i can no longer pattern my life about starting things, and never completing them. it means being in this for the long haul.

WHAT DANIEL HAS TO SAY ABOUT BECOMING LOVERS OF SELF

i just wanted to do some followup on what i blogged yesterday. even though i understand how so much of my thinking was due to the fact i was lost, its still, at times, hard to get my head around how, not only did i reject what i, deep in my heart, KNEW to be right in favor of what i knew to be WRONG...BUTTTTTTTTTTT i also with many things, even when confronted with not just the TRUTH, but even the FACTS, i would still choose to believe in a lie.

i came across TWO very important verses that deal with just that.

11 thessalonians 2:11-12 "they were sent STRONG DELUSION, and they BELIEVED IN A LIE. THEY SHUNNED THE TRUTH, AND TOOK PLEASURE IN UNRIGHTEOUSNESS."

another trip back to my aa days, when, one day, i was talking to a sponsor of mine about just how destructive and DECEPTIVE the disease of addiction is. even when confronted with, not only the TRUTH, but the FACTS of how, in the natural, that addiction is a progressive, and fatal disease, and there was NO SUCH A THING, as an addict EVER being able to manage his addiction in his own strength. not only is it a Biblical fact that it will neber be in man to find his own way or to order his own steps, but the SCIENTIFIC facts show its impossible. i asked her
how was it even when confronted with facts AS WELL as the truth, anyone, once confronted with and accepting it, could ever believe they could go back and manage their addiction. she told me that addiction is a disease that is so strong, you can have the truth and the facts staring you right in the face, and you will still believe in the lie"

this came to mind, the other day, when i was confronted with the belief that certain men and women are born gay. before i got saved, and the lights started coming on about how alot of the things the world tells us, flies not only in the face of the Word of God, but also good sound logic.
i sent the person a reply that not only is it completely illogical....... that God would present homosexuality as being totally against His Will as a crystal clear absolute, then creating someone in the very image of what he clearly states is an abomination..........but also, how can someone claim to be BORN sexually oriented a certain way, when it is a SCIENTIFIC fact
that sexual development doesnt occur until puberty? i am slowly beginning to understand, that satans power to decieve is so powerful, that, we can be confronted with the truth, and hell still have us believe in a lie.

EPHESIANS 6:12 "WE DEAL NOT WITH FLESH AND BLOOD, BUT AGAINST PRINCIPALITIES" the message in this is crystal clear. even armed with the facts, even KNOWLEDGE of the Word, i can never go against the enemy in my own name and strength.
even the smallest demon is stronger than i ever will be. I AM WEAK, BUT HE IS STRONG HIS GRACE ALONE IS SUFFICIENT TO ME!!!!

MODERN DAY ANALOGY

to avoid BOTH being sucked in and decieved by the way the world looks at things AND being sucked in by cults, one thing id better be able to do on a dime is to see how what was written thousands of years ago on parchment rolls, relates to MY life and THE WORLD AROUND ME
TODAY!!!!! being able to simply spout out and parrot Bible quotes, no matter how logo His truth is, is NOT going to be able to help me or others, if i cant grasp how it speaks about what i see around me in hands on real life. it would be like a doctor memorizing and maybe even understanding med term and even being able to cut up cadavers, but not being able to perform surgery or diagnose an illness in an actual patient.

i have an account with youtube, and, in addition to being a great source for freebie entertainment, it opens the doors to alot of communication with other people as you post comments on what you see and listen to. i remember 11 timothy 3:2-5 "for people shall be lovers of selves,..covetous, proud, blasphemers disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy. without natural affection, trucebreakers, false accusers, INCONTINENT, FIERCE, DESPISERS OF THOSE WHO ARE GOOD. TRAITORS, HEADY, HIGHMINDED,
LOVERS OF PLEASURES MORE THAN GOD" when i tap into a certain sight, and when i not only process what i view, but also read the responses to it, this verse comes to light with frightening, startling clarity. i was utterly horrifed particularly at the responses i read to two particular sources. one was the movie "hes just not that into you." which DOES reveal alot of truth about people who constantly seek to obtain and hang onto relationships with people who just dont feel the same way about them. BUT, there was a scene, where this one guy was having an affair on his wife, and she happens to arrive at his office right in the middle of it.
the responses i read to this not only revealed how the mindset of society is increasingly tolerant
of behavior that goes against the word of God, but actually cheers it on, and violently despises anyone who points out that, regardless of HOW "hot" the "other woman" is and what a "dog" the wife is, ADULTERY IS A SIN!!!!! this is a scary insight, not only into how depraved the thinking of the world is becoming, but how depraved MY OWN THINKING is minus God.

another example, i used to be a huge fan of the FX series "rescue me", which all about the escapades of a firefigher who glorifes being a bad boy. hmmm, lets see here. lets go thru some of the characteristics of the clinical narcissist and psychopath, shall we?
1. totally devoid of any sort of real conscience, except for things they have no choice to admit, once theyre nailed.
2.totally incapable of any kind of REAL, NORMAL, HEALTHY emotion.
3.interexploitiveness and manipulation of everyone around them. even their own kids.
4.an almost drunken sense of entitlement.
5. sexually promiscuous
6. lying pathologically-giving 5 or 6 different names at AA meetings when there was no logical reason to do so.
and this character is a cultural icon. as i said, i was a huge fan of this episode, and my response to what i saw, when i youtubed it and came across a particular clip showing how he sold his own baby for 400,000 bucks to his ex gf and how his wife freaked out on him, reading the responses to it, is an example of how often the way you remember things is drastically different to how one views things now after being saved. when i was struck by, taking all this in, was how utterly
perverse and depraved the mentality of modern culture is. when they are confronted with what is right and what is wrong, and they CONSISTANTLY CHOOSE what is wrong. the fact that a clinical sociopath would be considered a cultural icon is really scary. the tragic thing is so many ofthese people who applaud this sort of behavior are clueless as to the values theyre imparting to their kids, and then wonder why their kids end up getting in trouble with the law, in sort form of trouble. sin blinds you, not just to how warped your sense of values is, but tothe fact that, your kids are a reflection of you are are and WHAT you are LIKE IT OR NOT!!!!!!

seeing what i WAS and what i AM BECOMING and what I COULD GO BACK TO BEING shows how it is not by MY power, but by HIM that my life has changed

MORE ON RELATIONAL IDOLATRY:1 CORINTHIANS 13; THIS IS WHAT LOVE SHOULD LOOK LIKE

i just got thru looking at a video on youtube. it basically showed a gorgeous singer trashing some guys truck, because she caught him cheating on her. the whole precipace of this scenario was that this somehow is going to deter him from cheating in the future. this really REALLY scares me. even though it is true that ultimately we are responsible for our choices, young people who see this crap are very impressionable. whether icons in our culture either are unaware of the ramifications of what they peddle to our young people or they just dont care, the end results are still the same. they are sending a message that to take unacceptable behavior and wrap in in a pretty package makes it somehow not only ok, but even cool.

i remember yossarian, from the book by joseph heller CATCH 22, which gave birth to the "anti-hero" once again, it not only accepts the unacceptable, but even glamorizes it. the whole concept of it is embracing and condoning the unacceptable aspect of our fallen natures, and that trying or wanting to do the right thing actually makes you a pariah. and we see more and more where this is becoming true. what is really frightening is all too often unacceptable behavior is done in the name of what we call love.

one of the things i got very caught up in, in my unsaved state was relational idolatry. that is, making other people, rather than God the center of my universe. it is very true that all our emotions, including anger, are a reflection of the fact that God made us in His image. anger is one of the emotions God has given us that He himself posesses. but there is a huge difference between GODLY anger and WORLDLY anger. the latter is largely a secondary emotion. the real root of carnal anger is FEAR. fear of not being in control. this type of anger was almost always the byproduct of every failed relationship id ever had in the past. and i always did it in the name of love. popular culture calls it "crazy love." spreading lies about someone who had rejected me, trashing his or her property, attacking them or the other parties involved was all because "I LOVED THEM."

THIS IS WHAT LOVE SHOULD LOOK LIKE. 1 CORINTHIANS 13:5 "LOVE IS NOT EASILY PROVOKED. IT NEITHER THINKS OR DOES EVIL" this is a drastically different picture from what seems rampant in the videos and all too often private lives of so many of our popular icons. whats so sad is that so many young people seek to emulate what its being presented to them as cool or hip because like i said its presented to them in a pretty package. but the message in this verse is clear. anyone who for any reason seeks to harm you DOES NOT LOVE YOU.

what the WORD calls things is often very different than what the WORLD calls them. for example "crazy love" is just another word for UNCONTROLLED OR UNBRIDLED ANGER.
in other words, IT IS A SIN. is being unfaithful a sin? yes it is. but so is out of control rage. i see now with so many of the things i did it was because i wasnt trusting in God to provide me with something better than the things i was so desperately trying to hang onto. today i understand if people are meant to be in my life i dont have to try to force them to love me. it has at times been a struggle to allow God to pry out of my clutches things in my life that just arent meant to be there, but today i know its because He always has something much much better in store

DIFFERENT PARTS: ONE BODY

pastor gary spoke this past sunday on the importance of losing your identity in Christ. one good thing about falling down, then getting back up again is that you learn what happened to cause you to fall down to start with. for starters, one thing i see now that always comes out of taking the time to dig into the Word on a regular basis on your own is that you dont just grab onto a particular catch phrase in a particular teaching and develop some wacky, off-balance doctrine out of it. in the past, for some reason, when i got saved, i somehow thought that it meant dressing funny, giving up the educational field..... (which happened to be criminology) because that HAD to mean i was called to go to Bible-college (never minding that i didnt have a clue if that was actually what God had called me to do.....becoming like some of the well-meaning people around me who constantly were spouting things like "name it and claim it", "dont say that. thats a bad confession" and couldnt even talk normally. and what happened was that i was miserable. i was like a square peg that was determined i was going to make myself fit in a round hole. im not saying that there was or is anything wrong with some of the things i was trying to do, but it wasnt what GOD had called me to do. i wound up eventually falling because it wasnt ME.

i liked the analogy that pastor gary used about all the individual grapes becoming crushed grapes. today, having a much better WORKING understanding of what he meant by all the crushed grapes losing their identity of the juice, hes NOT talking about what i USED to think he meant when he was talking about loss of individuality. hes not talking about becoming some quasi-nazi group of people who all look alike, dress alike, and who constantly talk in a constant monotone of cultlike religious psychobabble. what hes talking about is the laying aside of our own personal AGENDAS. its getting out of the MEMEMEMEMEME mindset that is so integral
in our flesh natures. he was talking about how the crushed grapes become juice and are no longer individual grapes but are a combined whole, able to be poured into any container God chooses to put us in. OKAYYYYYYY!!! now here is where proper division of His Word comes in here. how does that jive with the passage of Scripture talking about how the Body of Christ is made of up INDIVIDUAL MEMBERS? doesnt that make us individuals?????? yes and no. hpw does, then,what pastor gary said about the grapes becoming juice mesh with the passage about the body being made up of different members?

well, at work, they used to have a sign, (which i think was largely for the benefit of employees who were more childish about some people "they just couldnt STAND to work with, than some of the residents who always squabbled about certain tablemates they didnt like) "ITS ABOUT THE REIDENTS! KINDLY LEAVE YOUR EGO AT THE DOOR." yes mama the body is made up of individual members, but they all work together. you dont see the arm saying i dont need the hand or vica versa, and, on the other hand you dont see the hand wanting to be the arm. each member has its own unique function, but it always functions as a whole. you cant very well whack off a hand and expect it to be able to pick up a sandwich, now couldnt you?
DIFFERENT UNITS ONE BODY. and, you dont see a body of nothing but hands, or eyes, or feet. get the picture?? go to the emergency room of any major hospital and youll see a motley crew of people who probably wouldnt sit next to each other on the bus. but when those patients come rolling in, they function as ONE UNIT.

EZEKIEL 36 :8 "SHOOT FORTH YOUR BRANCHES AND YIELD YOUR FRUIT TO MY PEOPLE" i dont see anything in this verse here about dwelling on ones own self-involvement. when one doesnt have a vision of anything beyond his or herself, her individual survival is actually in jeopardy. the body relies of each of its individual members as a whole for its own survival. the message to a backslidden Israel is the same as the one given to any self-involved, self-pitying believer today. WHY DONT YOU THINK LESS OF YOURSELF AND MORE ABOUT CARRYING THE MESSAGE?

THINGS NO LONGER AS THEY SHOULD BE.

when i got saved it was a given that in Christ i was a new creature all old things were passed away behold all things got made new. my SPIRIT got renewed as it got translated from the kingdom of darkness into the Lambs Book of Life BUTTTT!!!!!!!!to use a well known AA
cliche....WAS I IMMEDIATELY HAPPY JOYOUS AND FREE????? NOT HARDLY!!!!! and trust me, i wasnt always this great wonderful person to be around either. one of the first things that happened with me was the realization that the role i played in other peoples lives and they in mine no longer fit. i spent the first few months being PRETTY angry.
and one of the first things i had to ask myself was...WAS I REALLY ANGRY AT THEM OR WAS I MORE ANGRY AT MYSELF BECAUSE ID ALLOWED, EVEN CHOSE TO DO WHAT I DID. the next thing i had to also get was THEY hadnt changed... I HAD!!!! at the very heart of "being unequally yoked" with ANYONE is when someone changes while others in their world stay the same and are not able to accept that YOUVE changed, we got a problem, folks. NO. YOURE NOT GOING TO BE ALL HAPPY JOYOUS AND FREE ALL THE TIME. God never promised me a cakewalk. ive gone thru some drastic changes and some of them hurt like the devil. and i was pretty angry at times and i at times was a pain in the butt to be around. God only promised Hed never leave or forsake me. and i can take that to the bank!!!

i recently heard about a case of a woman being a sociopath and that it was SUPPOSED to be
physiological rather than a choice, something wrong with her brain wiring and she had no control over it. now i dont agree with that, because if someone realizes the difference between right and right, that to me IMMEDIATELY makes them responsible for their actions. but, thats a whole new ballgame there and im getting offtrack. well, she was married to a man she didnt love, she only married him for his money, she was unfaithful to him in order to further her career and wound up sabotaging her lover to do that, and, EVEN after realizing what she was,
her husband STILL wanted to stay with her and his reasons are all too common in those who fall into the trap of relational idolatry........HED RATHER BE USED THAN TO BE ALONE!!
pretty pathetic, huh? and, heck yeah, his wife was all for that while she still was a sociopath..she could just keep draining him dry. then she underwent radiation that worked on her brain, and VOILA!! she was no longer a sociopath. WELLLLLLLLLLLLL the first thing that she did was look at her longsuffering hubby and tell him how pathetic he was and she couldnt see herself spending the rest of her life with someone like him. not exactly a sweet loving response, but no longer being willing to be with someone who would allow her to use him KNOWING she was using him was actually a big step in being healthy. and often, when we become healthy, the first thing that happens is sometimes people have to go.

of course, in actuality, its not that simple. no amount of HUMAN therapy is ever going to make a person ever GROW a conscience. only GOD can breathe life into a dead heart. but i could see thru the eyes of this woman just what happens when suddenly you realize you simply cannot go on with life the way it once was and suddenly things are no longer the way they should be. suddenly having a GOD-CENTERED life, rather than a ME-CENTEREDa life put my whole world in an upheaval. i could see my life both thru this woman and her husband. in her husband, being willing to be used rather than being alone, shows how much i lived my life without an ounce of faith in ANYTHING but my own self-centered fear..which is ALWAYS FEAR OF LOSING WHAT YOU ALREADY HAVE AND NOT GAINING SOMETHING YOU WANT TO POSSESS!! it was not trusting in God to provide me with anything or anyone better. thru the eyes of the woman, who was no longer willing to live a lie,...its like this-seeing she WAS married, loving your spouse is a CHOICE not a FEELING and God can teach you to love even the unlovable. now if you arent married, the first thing you will realize is one day God will find you the person who WILL be your spouse, whom you WILL love for the right reasons. the VERY FIRST THING i saw when i came back to the Lord is that i HAD TO STOP PRETENDING AND GET REAL!!!!! DISHONESTY OF ANY KIND IS ALWAYS ROOTED IN FEAR

False
Evidence
Aappearing
Real

to get to cannaan almost always first reguires me to go thru the wilderness FIRST!!!!!