relational idolatry isnt just a matter of placing PEOPLE in general over GOD. whenever people get into relational idolatry, its usually a perversion for the sole trust and reliance we are supposed to place in God. this was a dynamic that led me to become so male driven. just as the reliance and trust we should place in God alone should become an all-consuming fire, whatever romantic interest i had at the time, became an all-consuming fire as well. im well into my renewed walk with God for well over a year, and im just now beginning to fully realize just how destructive this dynamic was, not just to myself, but to those around me. this was one of the factors that was at the root of my obsessive bipolar disorder. medication is,at best, a bandaid solution, if the deeper spiritual and psychogical factors arent first addressed. and recognizing it is only half the battle. the new birth is instant, but, after the new birth, we are often left with the nature of the flesh,one part of which is a mind diametrically opposed to the Word of God, to retrain. and this process can take a long time. to pereservere, one often has to just keep renewing their mind daily and keep ones eyes on the prize.
medication DID bring me to a place of normalcy for me to see it had to stop. but i had still yet to see it would never be within me to find my own way sans God. like most people, prior to accepting Jesus as lord and Savior, i had to come to the end of myself to realize this. its not enough to take meds, and to say, "im not going to do this, or do that anymore". it had to come from a much deeper place inside of me, where i had to say, "i dont want this kind of dynamic anymore" at the time, i return to the Lord, i wasnt out on the streets, and id been sober for three years(BEING SOBER was an important factor, in being brought to a place where i saw i HAD to submit), i was in a stable, loving relationship. theres all sorts of ways one can come to the end of ourselves. the bottom line is, that its sort of like max dugan when it comes to God (and God IS persistant) YOU CAN RUN BUT YOU CANT HIDE!!! it was basically God telling me He loved me and wanted me back.
relational idolatry is Satans way of, not just COUNTERFEITING the sole reliance God wants us to place upon Him, but also PERVERTING it. making God the center of ones life, brings joy, fulfillment, and a sense of completeness. unbelievers view the God of the Bible as one who wants to TAKE YOUR LIFE AWAY FROM YOU. the opposite is true .God GAVE MY LIFE BACK to me!!!!!! making PEOPLE important parts of your life..theres nothing wrong with that.PEOPLE are Gods most valuable commodity. relational idolatry is totally different. its when you take one person, place that person at the absolute center of your life. THIS brings
frustration, disappointment as you look upon each one of them as one failure after another,( not understanding that its impossible for that person to meet your demands) its a stronghold- a pattern of thought you cling to even when its apparent its not working( only SATAN can have you persistantly clinging to a revealed lie), and ulitmately DESPAIR. IT TAKES YOUR LIFE from you, including other people.
relational idolatry is the dynamic behind people who end up stalking their target of interest. a key factor in the life of a stalker, is that they have either no close friends, except for family, or they have very few close friends. having no network outside of that one person, they pursue something that is impossible, making that one person the answer to all their problems. only GOD can do that, IF youre willing. i STALKED people. why???? well, its like this. we ALL deal
with disappointments in friendships and relationships, when one person just isnt as interested as the other one is, and they pull away. most of us, even though we experience the sense of loss and disappoinmtents, they move on. they have other people to balance out that sense of loss.
however, relational idolatry robs you of other things in your life, including other people that God may place in your life to help you. i wound up feeling swamped by that disappointment, and consumed by the obsession to obtain that relationship, which included anger i was uable to let go of if they werent satisfied with everything i did. this came from my world just not being full enough to combat it.
i remember the movie FATAL ATTRACTION, and one scene that really stands out in my mind,
is the scene where glenn close is sitting, glass of wine in her hand, listening to madame butterfly, and you could see the obsession, frustration, and, most of all, the deep loneliness,
that was at the very root of her obsession. you could see THIS MAN was her God..if only she could have him, all hesr problems would be solved. most people, when going through something is in the company of friends. but relational idolatru, in its futile attempt to make ONE PERSON the answer to all your problems, almost always leaves you with few or not friends. its a frightening place to be...for others who are the target of this obsession, but also for the person consumed by this feeling of being utterly out of control.
relational idolatry is a countefeit for the One who CAN meet all my needs..IF i let Him
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
my viewpoint on a dangerous church
for me to understand the difference between a SAFE CHURCH versus a DANGEROUS CHURCH, its not that difficult. to really get it, some great analogies can be found in our unsaved past via the people we THOUGHT were our friends as opposed to the people who REALLY WERE our friends.
this is how i see a SAFE CHURCH!!! a SAFE CHURCH is sort of like that group of girlfriends many of us unsaved gals used to go partying with, whenever we wanted to whine and cry in our beer over whatever flame we happened to be obsessing over at the moment. we all know these fair weather type of friends. they spent alot of time murmuring, clucking sympethetically, ALWAYS telling us what we WANTED to hear, all the while thinking OH HOW I WISH THIS PERSON WOULD JUST GO AWAY THEYRE RUINING MY HIGH or I CAN LISTEN TO THIS AS LONG AS THEY KEEP BUYING. this is exactly what a SAFE CHURCH IS LIKE.
it neither makes demands on its members nor wants demands made on it. there is a barney-like mentality pervading it, as they preach a "social" Gospel. I LOVE YOU YOU LOVE ME IM OK YOURE OK.....a Gospel of NO CONVICTION. at best, it presents IMCOMPLETE truth. it claims GOD LOVES YOU THE WAY YOU ARE......umm, somethings missing at the end there.
a DANGEROUS CHURCH-its like that type of friend or loved one that you may end up hating for awhile when they tell you something that may rub you the wrong way, you may even HATE that person and not talk to them for a lomng time, BUT, later, often, you end up THANKING them for it. they may not always tell you what you WANT to hear, BUT they will always tell you what you NEED to hear. i think of my sister alot, when i think of what a DANGEROUS CHURCH is like. wheneve i wanted to cry in my beer over some guy, or whatever self-defeating situation i kept landing myself in. not alot of murmuring sympathetically here...instead i got alot of being told needing to start looking at patterns that kept repeating themselves, looking to see where i was always the lowest common denominator in every one of these problems. thers always RISK whenever one is willing to step out in the area of TRUTH and CHANGE. a DANGEROUS CHURCH is all about RISK and conviction. im currently in the book of ezekiel and one verse stands out in my mind "do not be rebellious like the others...but rather EAT ALL of what i give you." a DANGEROUS CHURCH doesnt deal with watered down, partial truth. it deals with the whole thing. it takes GOD LOVES YOU JUST THE WAY YOU ARE.....and adds on the other half of the statment...BUT HE LOVES YOU FAR TOO MUCH TO LET YOU STAY THAT WAY. a DANGEROUS CHURCH allows the Holy Spirit to use the Word like a mirror, where you look into it, and, NO, youre not always going to like what you see.
often, it really is much easier to deal with outward persecution from the world, than it is to look in the mirror and allow the Holy Spirit to use His Word to tell us that the one who needs to change is ME. well, its like this...a SAFE CHURCH allows us to keep doing our own thing, cluding shifting blame. a DANGEROUS CHURCH carries one of the most important factors
required for TRUE repentence...............THE BUCK STOPS HERE!!!!!!
A SAFE CHURCH-A FORM OF GODLINESS, DENYING ITS POWER. WERE STILL RUNNING THE SHOW.
A DANGEROUS CHURCH- AGOD THAT CAN OPEN THE EYES OF THE BLIND, HEAL THE SICK, TURN WATER INTO WINE. RAISE THE DEAD. GOD IS THE ONE RUNNING THE SHOW
this is how i see a SAFE CHURCH!!! a SAFE CHURCH is sort of like that group of girlfriends many of us unsaved gals used to go partying with, whenever we wanted to whine and cry in our beer over whatever flame we happened to be obsessing over at the moment. we all know these fair weather type of friends. they spent alot of time murmuring, clucking sympethetically, ALWAYS telling us what we WANTED to hear, all the while thinking OH HOW I WISH THIS PERSON WOULD JUST GO AWAY THEYRE RUINING MY HIGH or I CAN LISTEN TO THIS AS LONG AS THEY KEEP BUYING. this is exactly what a SAFE CHURCH IS LIKE.
it neither makes demands on its members nor wants demands made on it. there is a barney-like mentality pervading it, as they preach a "social" Gospel. I LOVE YOU YOU LOVE ME IM OK YOURE OK.....a Gospel of NO CONVICTION. at best, it presents IMCOMPLETE truth. it claims GOD LOVES YOU THE WAY YOU ARE......umm, somethings missing at the end there.
a DANGEROUS CHURCH-its like that type of friend or loved one that you may end up hating for awhile when they tell you something that may rub you the wrong way, you may even HATE that person and not talk to them for a lomng time, BUT, later, often, you end up THANKING them for it. they may not always tell you what you WANT to hear, BUT they will always tell you what you NEED to hear. i think of my sister alot, when i think of what a DANGEROUS CHURCH is like. wheneve i wanted to cry in my beer over some guy, or whatever self-defeating situation i kept landing myself in. not alot of murmuring sympathetically here...instead i got alot of being told needing to start looking at patterns that kept repeating themselves, looking to see where i was always the lowest common denominator in every one of these problems. thers always RISK whenever one is willing to step out in the area of TRUTH and CHANGE. a DANGEROUS CHURCH is all about RISK and conviction. im currently in the book of ezekiel and one verse stands out in my mind "do not be rebellious like the others...but rather EAT ALL of what i give you." a DANGEROUS CHURCH doesnt deal with watered down, partial truth. it deals with the whole thing. it takes GOD LOVES YOU JUST THE WAY YOU ARE.....and adds on the other half of the statment...BUT HE LOVES YOU FAR TOO MUCH TO LET YOU STAY THAT WAY. a DANGEROUS CHURCH allows the Holy Spirit to use the Word like a mirror, where you look into it, and, NO, youre not always going to like what you see.
often, it really is much easier to deal with outward persecution from the world, than it is to look in the mirror and allow the Holy Spirit to use His Word to tell us that the one who needs to change is ME. well, its like this...a SAFE CHURCH allows us to keep doing our own thing, cluding shifting blame. a DANGEROUS CHURCH carries one of the most important factors
required for TRUE repentence...............THE BUCK STOPS HERE!!!!!!
A SAFE CHURCH-A FORM OF GODLINESS, DENYING ITS POWER. WERE STILL RUNNING THE SHOW.
A DANGEROUS CHURCH- AGOD THAT CAN OPEN THE EYES OF THE BLIND, HEAL THE SICK, TURN WATER INTO WINE. RAISE THE DEAD. GOD IS THE ONE RUNNING THE SHOW
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
being the lowest common denominator
matthew 5:44"love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, pray for those who despitefully use and persecute you" this is all about REACHING OUT!!!!! and dont you know that all too often reaching out to your enemy can be like reaching out to pet a brazillian wandering spider, hoping you wont get bit ( i had the pleasure of seeing one of them suckers on discovery, as it barreled up this poor guys broom, and zinged his hand. this is not a mild manner tarantula. this critter is aggressive). and, roger that, we live in a day an age, where those of us who embrace Jesus as THE way to God, not A way, who believe in shaping our values around the Word, not vica-versa etc. is NOT going to be modern mainstream societys cup of tea. this aint a popularity contest, i dig it. BUTTTTTTTTTT, AND I PLACE A HUGE EMPHASIS
ON THE BUT HERE, when we come across a difficulty in life, where we feel compelled to grab for good ole trusty matt 5:44, for that feel-good attaboy, i found it also highly advisable to remember hebrews 4:12"the Word of God is quick and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword.....it is a divider of the thoguhts and intents of the heart" sometimes this doesnt
give us that attaboy feeling, but rather, an OUCH!!!!!!! we all can relate to being persecuted.
but nobody likes to look in the mirror, seeing theres no guarantee, theyll like what they see. but,
true forgiveness and love of ones enemies is never going to come if we dont also have the willingness to allow God to search our hearts, to allow the Spirit to convict us, on where if the shoe fits, we happen to have fallen into a pattern of destructive behavior with others that is actually contrary to being in His will. true forgiveness is only going to come when we see where we are the lowest common denominator in the situation.
the TRUE litmus test as to whether or not i have truly forgiven someone: MY part in it suddenly becomes HUGE!!! if i dont balance matthew 5:44 with hebrews 4:12,matthew 5:44 becomes nothing more than a way of shifting blame, and feeling justified in doing so. the Gospel is pretty simple, common sense. its the ABCS of our walk with God
A. I CANT
B. HE CAN
C. I THINK ILL LET HIM.
after that comes learning to LIVE THE WALK, not just TALK THE TALK. this is largely inward,
and, trust me, when youre in a job situation, where you have charge nurse who is willing to frame you in order to get you fired, hebrews 4:12 is going to be alot harder to put into practice than matt 5:44. no one likes looking in the mirror, and seeing where he or she is the lowest common denominator in the matter. and the tragic thing, is many believers lose job after job, even one loved one after the other, and still not get it, as far as being able to accept responsibility
for their shortcomings. and, what happens as a result, they look forward to a life of defeat, and all they tell the world by this is "this DOESNT work" lack of humility, unwillingness to relinquish destructive interrelational patterns paint a picture of a very UNchristian christian.
trust me, satan KNOWS exactly how to push your buttons. why do you think that the people closest to you can be the HARDEST to forgive????? they can send you from 0-glad to 10-boiling mad in a nanosecond. this is especially hard when dealing with strongholds of relational idolatry, where ones world became so centered around people that one word from them could ruin your whole day or even your whole weekend. the problem with that sort of perspective is that its ME-centered,and you drain people dry, or they flee from you. like i said before, and hebrews 4;12 sums it up, the chief cornerstone of daily picking up that cross daily, and following Him, is finally getting the fact that is isnt other people i need to try to be CHANGING. who really needs to CHANGE is ME. my job with other people to to SHARE MY FAITH!!!
ON THE BUT HERE, when we come across a difficulty in life, where we feel compelled to grab for good ole trusty matt 5:44, for that feel-good attaboy, i found it also highly advisable to remember hebrews 4:12"the Word of God is quick and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword.....it is a divider of the thoguhts and intents of the heart" sometimes this doesnt
give us that attaboy feeling, but rather, an OUCH!!!!!!! we all can relate to being persecuted.
but nobody likes to look in the mirror, seeing theres no guarantee, theyll like what they see. but,
true forgiveness and love of ones enemies is never going to come if we dont also have the willingness to allow God to search our hearts, to allow the Spirit to convict us, on where if the shoe fits, we happen to have fallen into a pattern of destructive behavior with others that is actually contrary to being in His will. true forgiveness is only going to come when we see where we are the lowest common denominator in the situation.
the TRUE litmus test as to whether or not i have truly forgiven someone: MY part in it suddenly becomes HUGE!!! if i dont balance matthew 5:44 with hebrews 4:12,matthew 5:44 becomes nothing more than a way of shifting blame, and feeling justified in doing so. the Gospel is pretty simple, common sense. its the ABCS of our walk with God
A. I CANT
B. HE CAN
C. I THINK ILL LET HIM.
after that comes learning to LIVE THE WALK, not just TALK THE TALK. this is largely inward,
and, trust me, when youre in a job situation, where you have charge nurse who is willing to frame you in order to get you fired, hebrews 4:12 is going to be alot harder to put into practice than matt 5:44. no one likes looking in the mirror, and seeing where he or she is the lowest common denominator in the matter. and the tragic thing, is many believers lose job after job, even one loved one after the other, and still not get it, as far as being able to accept responsibility
for their shortcomings. and, what happens as a result, they look forward to a life of defeat, and all they tell the world by this is "this DOESNT work" lack of humility, unwillingness to relinquish destructive interrelational patterns paint a picture of a very UNchristian christian.
trust me, satan KNOWS exactly how to push your buttons. why do you think that the people closest to you can be the HARDEST to forgive????? they can send you from 0-glad to 10-boiling mad in a nanosecond. this is especially hard when dealing with strongholds of relational idolatry, where ones world became so centered around people that one word from them could ruin your whole day or even your whole weekend. the problem with that sort of perspective is that its ME-centered,and you drain people dry, or they flee from you. like i said before, and hebrews 4;12 sums it up, the chief cornerstone of daily picking up that cross daily, and following Him, is finally getting the fact that is isnt other people i need to try to be CHANGING. who really needs to CHANGE is ME. my job with other people to to SHARE MY FAITH!!!
a SHEEP knows his masters voice:DOGGIES AND DUCKS TOO!!!!
samson and i have an early morning routine( welllllllllll, we HAVE slacked up on it over the past couple of mornings since BRRRRRRR ITS COOLLLLLLLDDDDDDDD!!!!) i pop about six cups of popcorn, bag it up, along with the brats early morning doggie treats, and we walk down to the park, where there is a huge natural lake. ( in the summertime, i kinda began to wonder if
the ones who actually braved the pond stench could read, seeing there was a huge sign up, saying, DO NOT SWIM IN THIS LAKE, SINCE IT IS A SOURCE FOR PROTOZOA, AMOEBA, AND OTHER MICROSCOPIC PATHOGENS......something like that anyway)
it is a daily ritual to feed the ducks. and they already know me and samson, before i even tie up samson (that is, unless i want to end up going for a swim in da pond as samson takes off like a heat seeking missile after the ducks, two in particular. in 15 degree water? um, dont think so.)
as soon as they see us, here they come.....quack, quack, quack, heres the nice lady who feeds us. ive learned to wear sneakers, instead of flip flops when i come on this expedition, as they like to bite my feet if they feel i aint feeding them fast enough. they know ME and they know THE SOUND OF MY VOICE!!!!! they know IM THE ONE WHO FEEDS THEM!!!!
alan trie coming to the pond one day, minus food, but with samson in tow. they recognized samson, but saw i wasnt with him with the popcorn. so, after the initial recognition of samson, they knew, "nothing here,guys" so, they didnt even bother coming up to alan. first impression ,from a distance, samson may have made the scenario LOOK familar, but, upon closer inspection, the ducks saw there was nothing there, sooooooooo, it was cyalaterbye!!!!
its really funny, man is supposed to be superior in intelligence to a dog or a duck. but, heck, a sheep is as dumb as doggie poop, and they KNOW the sound of their masters voice, and will never be fooled by an imitation, no matter how good of one it is. its ironic that MAN can be fooled by a fake, but you cant fool a duck, or a dog. they KNOW whos going to feed them, and whos not, and will not go up to you, if youre not them , no matter how much you may LOOK
like the real source of the food. Jesus knew what He was doing when he used animals, especially sheep seeing as it WAS one of the dumbest animals on the planet. animals know the real thing in a new york minute, but man often doesnt have a clue theyre being taken in by
a fake, such as a false teacher, even when theyre in the grips of starving to death. A SHEEP KNOWS THE SOUND OF HIS MASTERS VOICE AND WILL NEVER FOLLOW THE VOICE OF A STRANGER BUT WILL RUN!!!!!
a dog or a duck will never have the gift of eternal life, such as we have, but i feel God has given them the gift of distinguishing the true from the false as an example to us. a loyal faithful dog worth his salt can always sense the evil and duplicity behind a false smiling veneer, and is quick to warn their master, no mater how good the package looks on the surface. physical analogies are an invaluable tool as we delve into the spiritual realm via the Holy Spirit to discern spiritual truths theres alot of kooks and whackjobs out there wholl tell us things that are obviously off the chain, and we can laugh, and shake our heads, and rest assured we wont get taken in by a false teacher. but look at the one verse that both peter talked about in his epistiles as well as what jude in the book of jude does as well......clouds without water, carried about by winds.
these are the ones that are hard to spot. on initial inspection, a could with rain thatll nourish you, and prevent dehydration cant be told apart from a cloud that will give you nothing. its like confusing alan and samson together with me and samson together..rushing up to alan and samson because they LOOK like theyll give you something, then...........nothing. thats what a false teacher all too often windfs up doing. they may even quote scripture. they offer something and give nothing. and all too often, they end up TAKING everything from YOU. the prosperity doctrine gone out of hand is well known for that.
distinguishing a real teacher from a wolf that creeps into the flock is impossible without the Holy Spirit, and learning to be sensitive to His voice and conviction. just dry knowledge of the Word, without the Spirit to guide you isnt enough (though you bloody well BETTER know the Word as well) the Holy Spirit is like our english bull terrier or pit bull that warns us of the hidden dangers below the surface of a nice pretty package that at first SEEMS to line up with the Word, but quickly reveals to us when something is hinky ( i LOVE detective terminology)
in other words, when the body of evidence isnt lining up with the body of the crime, so to speak.
it shows us the M.O (modus operandi)
its all about whether or not we end up getting fed, amen
the ones who actually braved the pond stench could read, seeing there was a huge sign up, saying, DO NOT SWIM IN THIS LAKE, SINCE IT IS A SOURCE FOR PROTOZOA, AMOEBA, AND OTHER MICROSCOPIC PATHOGENS......something like that anyway)
it is a daily ritual to feed the ducks. and they already know me and samson, before i even tie up samson (that is, unless i want to end up going for a swim in da pond as samson takes off like a heat seeking missile after the ducks, two in particular. in 15 degree water? um, dont think so.)
as soon as they see us, here they come.....quack, quack, quack, heres the nice lady who feeds us. ive learned to wear sneakers, instead of flip flops when i come on this expedition, as they like to bite my feet if they feel i aint feeding them fast enough. they know ME and they know THE SOUND OF MY VOICE!!!!! they know IM THE ONE WHO FEEDS THEM!!!!
alan trie coming to the pond one day, minus food, but with samson in tow. they recognized samson, but saw i wasnt with him with the popcorn. so, after the initial recognition of samson, they knew, "nothing here,guys" so, they didnt even bother coming up to alan. first impression ,from a distance, samson may have made the scenario LOOK familar, but, upon closer inspection, the ducks saw there was nothing there, sooooooooo, it was cyalaterbye!!!!
its really funny, man is supposed to be superior in intelligence to a dog or a duck. but, heck, a sheep is as dumb as doggie poop, and they KNOW the sound of their masters voice, and will never be fooled by an imitation, no matter how good of one it is. its ironic that MAN can be fooled by a fake, but you cant fool a duck, or a dog. they KNOW whos going to feed them, and whos not, and will not go up to you, if youre not them , no matter how much you may LOOK
like the real source of the food. Jesus knew what He was doing when he used animals, especially sheep seeing as it WAS one of the dumbest animals on the planet. animals know the real thing in a new york minute, but man often doesnt have a clue theyre being taken in by
a fake, such as a false teacher, even when theyre in the grips of starving to death. A SHEEP KNOWS THE SOUND OF HIS MASTERS VOICE AND WILL NEVER FOLLOW THE VOICE OF A STRANGER BUT WILL RUN!!!!!
a dog or a duck will never have the gift of eternal life, such as we have, but i feel God has given them the gift of distinguishing the true from the false as an example to us. a loyal faithful dog worth his salt can always sense the evil and duplicity behind a false smiling veneer, and is quick to warn their master, no mater how good the package looks on the surface. physical analogies are an invaluable tool as we delve into the spiritual realm via the Holy Spirit to discern spiritual truths theres alot of kooks and whackjobs out there wholl tell us things that are obviously off the chain, and we can laugh, and shake our heads, and rest assured we wont get taken in by a false teacher. but look at the one verse that both peter talked about in his epistiles as well as what jude in the book of jude does as well......clouds without water, carried about by winds.
these are the ones that are hard to spot. on initial inspection, a could with rain thatll nourish you, and prevent dehydration cant be told apart from a cloud that will give you nothing. its like confusing alan and samson together with me and samson together..rushing up to alan and samson because they LOOK like theyll give you something, then...........nothing. thats what a false teacher all too often windfs up doing. they may even quote scripture. they offer something and give nothing. and all too often, they end up TAKING everything from YOU. the prosperity doctrine gone out of hand is well known for that.
distinguishing a real teacher from a wolf that creeps into the flock is impossible without the Holy Spirit, and learning to be sensitive to His voice and conviction. just dry knowledge of the Word, without the Spirit to guide you isnt enough (though you bloody well BETTER know the Word as well) the Holy Spirit is like our english bull terrier or pit bull that warns us of the hidden dangers below the surface of a nice pretty package that at first SEEMS to line up with the Word, but quickly reveals to us when something is hinky ( i LOVE detective terminology)
in other words, when the body of evidence isnt lining up with the body of the crime, so to speak.
it shows us the M.O (modus operandi)
its all about whether or not we end up getting fed, amen
Monday, January 4, 2010
MOMMY: WHERE ARE YOU!!!!!
now, back to my doggie. over the holidays, especially the past five days ive had off, i got some special cuddle time in with my doggie, early in the mornings (and no one can tell me he didnt
know his mommy was home), when, as early as 4:30 in the morning, he d wake me up with his pathetic, mommy, mommy, WHY ARE YOU IGNORING ME??? wails. and the end to that is his daddy coming into the tv room an hour or so later, to see mommy and the boy, in the recliner, the boy fast asleep in mommys lap, blanket pulled up around him with just his head snuggled on mommys shoulder poking out. ALL THIS, AS ITS BACK TO THE GRIND AS USUAL, FOR DADDY, which im sure is much to daddys dismay as HE gets woke up in the morning, trying to get ready for work, and samson NOW expecting to get the same cuddle treatment hed gotten from mommy over the past week, NOW throwing a fit because mommy isnt there at 4:30-5 am to give it to him.
samson doesnt understand the times, when mommy isnt there, to snuggle and hold him, all wrapped up in the blankey, that it doesnt mean....just because he doesnt feel and smell mommy,
.........that i love him any less, and that im not STILL taking care of him. hes just a baby. hes got that visual and emotional tracking thing going on that most babies have. he sees mommy, he feels mommy holding him, and rocking him to sleep, all snuggled in his favorite blankey, MOMMYS HERE, MOMMY LOVES ME!!!!! but...mommy cant always be holding him. mommy has to work, and do other things. but, like all babies he doesnt understand that. when mommy puts him back in his cage,( and its been cold lately) and hes by himself, hes
thinking, MOMMY, MOMMY, WHERE ARE YOU?? YOURE NOT HERE ANYMORE. WHY DONT YOU LOVE ME ANYMORE????? he doesnt understand, that, just because he doesnt SEE or FEEL me, or is aware of my presence, that im not still there for him, that i dont still love him.
theres time, like, for example in praise and worship, that i feel alot like samson,, all snuggled up to his mommy, under his favorite blankey. of course that that moment, his child-puppy mind KNOWS his mommy loves him, he can FEEL his mommy cuddling him. as he grows older, he
will start to understand she loves him even when he DOESNT feel her holding him, or even when he doesnt see her. in praise and worship, i can FEEL Gods presence. but i cant STAY in the realm of the warm fuzzies. it gets cold and lonely out there in that world. but His WORD
tells me,even when i dont "FEEL" HIM. He will never, ever stop loving me, or leave me Jesus went thru that separation from Him, so, once we accept what He did for us, so WELL never have to. out there in that wilderness, when God is leading us thru a trial to build our characterits hard to not go by what our FEELINGS tell us..."HE AINT THERE" GROWING
UP is belieiving what HIS WORD says, even when its cold out there
know his mommy was home), when, as early as 4:30 in the morning, he d wake me up with his pathetic, mommy, mommy, WHY ARE YOU IGNORING ME??? wails. and the end to that is his daddy coming into the tv room an hour or so later, to see mommy and the boy, in the recliner, the boy fast asleep in mommys lap, blanket pulled up around him with just his head snuggled on mommys shoulder poking out. ALL THIS, AS ITS BACK TO THE GRIND AS USUAL, FOR DADDY, which im sure is much to daddys dismay as HE gets woke up in the morning, trying to get ready for work, and samson NOW expecting to get the same cuddle treatment hed gotten from mommy over the past week, NOW throwing a fit because mommy isnt there at 4:30-5 am to give it to him.
samson doesnt understand the times, when mommy isnt there, to snuggle and hold him, all wrapped up in the blankey, that it doesnt mean....just because he doesnt feel and smell mommy,
.........that i love him any less, and that im not STILL taking care of him. hes just a baby. hes got that visual and emotional tracking thing going on that most babies have. he sees mommy, he feels mommy holding him, and rocking him to sleep, all snuggled in his favorite blankey, MOMMYS HERE, MOMMY LOVES ME!!!!! but...mommy cant always be holding him. mommy has to work, and do other things. but, like all babies he doesnt understand that. when mommy puts him back in his cage,( and its been cold lately) and hes by himself, hes
thinking, MOMMY, MOMMY, WHERE ARE YOU?? YOURE NOT HERE ANYMORE. WHY DONT YOU LOVE ME ANYMORE????? he doesnt understand, that, just because he doesnt SEE or FEEL me, or is aware of my presence, that im not still there for him, that i dont still love him.
theres time, like, for example in praise and worship, that i feel alot like samson,, all snuggled up to his mommy, under his favorite blankey. of course that that moment, his child-puppy mind KNOWS his mommy loves him, he can FEEL his mommy cuddling him. as he grows older, he
will start to understand she loves him even when he DOESNT feel her holding him, or even when he doesnt see her. in praise and worship, i can FEEL Gods presence. but i cant STAY in the realm of the warm fuzzies. it gets cold and lonely out there in that world. but His WORD
tells me,even when i dont "FEEL" HIM. He will never, ever stop loving me, or leave me Jesus went thru that separation from Him, so, once we accept what He did for us, so WELL never have to. out there in that wilderness, when God is leading us thru a trial to build our characterits hard to not go by what our FEELINGS tell us..."HE AINT THERE" GROWING
UP is belieiving what HIS WORD says, even when its cold out there
relational idolatry
IF ONLY "THEY' WOULD JUST ACT THE WAY I WANT THEM TO ACT, ID BE JUST FINE. ive spent alot of time an energy holding other people responsible for my happi
ness OR blaming them for my lack of it. im just now beginning to realize that for any one, or even a multitude of people combined, to be able to fulfil all of my needs....whether it be physical, emotional or whatever.......THATS IMPOSSIBLE. ITS ALSO IDOLATRY. only one source could possibly meet all of my needs (note i say NEEDS not GREEDS, as pastor gary is fond of saying), and thats GOD. in essence, when i rely upon others to make me happy, and blame them when they dont, im making them my God, and of course im going to end up resenting them whenever they fall short of my expectations, because the very expectation is one doomed to failure. even im going to let loved ones down from time to time by being less than perfect. last night while i was at work, i heard the term relational idolatry come up, and it perfectly described the trap that led me to one self-destructive relationship after another in my dealings with people. the fact that i basically made other human beings my God is giving me insight as to why i could never keep people in my life. not only was i expecting to fill that God void thru something impossible for it to do, but, like so,m many people who do such a thing, i was so consumed with self, it was all about WHAT CAN OTHERS DO FOR ME, never, WHAT CAN I GIVE IN RETURN. I COULD ATTRACT PEOPLE BUT I COULD NEVER KEEP THEM.
relational idolatry is probably the most common way that when we are guided by our soulish natures, that we place our reliance on things other than God to validate who and what we are.
when we see others who put THINGS over people, i know in my case this is especially true, its easy to pat myself on the back and give myself an attaboy, that i dont have such a materialistic set of values. i value PEOPLE over THINGS dont you know. LOL. thats a good thing , aint it?
after all, isnt Gods most valuable commodity PEOPLE? its pretty easy for us born again guys and gals to tell, when we start confusing our needs with our greeds when it comes to getting
STUFF. but the line often gets blurred between healthy and unhealthy reliance upon people
for our well-being. im beginning to see that a pretty good indication in my case is when i allow an argument to totally disrupt my equilibrium for days on end. its not being able to cope with
things not always going perfectly, or not being able to deal with people not behaving perfectly
100% of the time. and i realize that not making other people my God, and relying on GOD to
meet my needs, is something that doesnt suddenly happen overnight. i had to go thru alot of wrecked relationships, alot of them with people who, in all probability will never want to see me again, for the lights to finally come on that doing things MY way, rather than HIS way, might not be working as well as i somehow managed to delude myself into thinking, when i still thouight i was shucking and jiving while my whole world was chaos. relational idolatry is just not getting that it isnt THEM that needs to change, its ME. its getting honest with myself, and God, that the problem ISNT that other people are self cenetered jerks who dont value me enough. it IS understanding that it just might me im too needy, im too much!!!!
in confronting this fact about myself, i was also confronted with something else. in my failure
to forgive my mother for many of the things i detested her doing with ME, I WOUND UP INTERNALIZING THE VERY THINGS I HELD ONTO A GRUDGE TOWARDS HER OVER.
i hated her guilt tripping me, and being a martyr. and i wound up doing the same thing. and often, it is true..you DO reap what you sow. my resentment towards her was actually, to a large degree lack of gratitude and appreciation. God has a way of knwoing when i need to understand
some of the concepts of galatians 6:1...basically walking in someone elses shoes.
relational idolatry often leaves the person in the very position they so desperately fear...ALONE.
as they go from one failed relationship, friendship, even marriage after another, in the search for the impossible...for that one PERSON wholl meet all their needs. its not enough to know Jesus is my SAVIOR, i also have to learn to daily know Him as LORD
ness OR blaming them for my lack of it. im just now beginning to realize that for any one, or even a multitude of people combined, to be able to fulfil all of my needs....whether it be physical, emotional or whatever.......THATS IMPOSSIBLE. ITS ALSO IDOLATRY. only one source could possibly meet all of my needs (note i say NEEDS not GREEDS, as pastor gary is fond of saying), and thats GOD. in essence, when i rely upon others to make me happy, and blame them when they dont, im making them my God, and of course im going to end up resenting them whenever they fall short of my expectations, because the very expectation is one doomed to failure. even im going to let loved ones down from time to time by being less than perfect. last night while i was at work, i heard the term relational idolatry come up, and it perfectly described the trap that led me to one self-destructive relationship after another in my dealings with people. the fact that i basically made other human beings my God is giving me insight as to why i could never keep people in my life. not only was i expecting to fill that God void thru something impossible for it to do, but, like so,m many people who do such a thing, i was so consumed with self, it was all about WHAT CAN OTHERS DO FOR ME, never, WHAT CAN I GIVE IN RETURN. I COULD ATTRACT PEOPLE BUT I COULD NEVER KEEP THEM.
relational idolatry is probably the most common way that when we are guided by our soulish natures, that we place our reliance on things other than God to validate who and what we are.
when we see others who put THINGS over people, i know in my case this is especially true, its easy to pat myself on the back and give myself an attaboy, that i dont have such a materialistic set of values. i value PEOPLE over THINGS dont you know. LOL. thats a good thing , aint it?
after all, isnt Gods most valuable commodity PEOPLE? its pretty easy for us born again guys and gals to tell, when we start confusing our needs with our greeds when it comes to getting
STUFF. but the line often gets blurred between healthy and unhealthy reliance upon people
for our well-being. im beginning to see that a pretty good indication in my case is when i allow an argument to totally disrupt my equilibrium for days on end. its not being able to cope with
things not always going perfectly, or not being able to deal with people not behaving perfectly
100% of the time. and i realize that not making other people my God, and relying on GOD to
meet my needs, is something that doesnt suddenly happen overnight. i had to go thru alot of wrecked relationships, alot of them with people who, in all probability will never want to see me again, for the lights to finally come on that doing things MY way, rather than HIS way, might not be working as well as i somehow managed to delude myself into thinking, when i still thouight i was shucking and jiving while my whole world was chaos. relational idolatry is just not getting that it isnt THEM that needs to change, its ME. its getting honest with myself, and God, that the problem ISNT that other people are self cenetered jerks who dont value me enough. it IS understanding that it just might me im too needy, im too much!!!!
in confronting this fact about myself, i was also confronted with something else. in my failure
to forgive my mother for many of the things i detested her doing with ME, I WOUND UP INTERNALIZING THE VERY THINGS I HELD ONTO A GRUDGE TOWARDS HER OVER.
i hated her guilt tripping me, and being a martyr. and i wound up doing the same thing. and often, it is true..you DO reap what you sow. my resentment towards her was actually, to a large degree lack of gratitude and appreciation. God has a way of knwoing when i need to understand
some of the concepts of galatians 6:1...basically walking in someone elses shoes.
relational idolatry often leaves the person in the very position they so desperately fear...ALONE.
as they go from one failed relationship, friendship, even marriage after another, in the search for the impossible...for that one PERSON wholl meet all their needs. its not enough to know Jesus is my SAVIOR, i also have to learn to daily know Him as LORD
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