relational idolatry

IF ONLY "THEY' WOULD JUST ACT THE WAY I WANT THEM TO ACT, ID BE JUST FINE. ive spent alot of time an energy holding other people responsible for my happi
ness OR blaming them for my lack of it. im just now beginning to realize that for any one, or even a multitude of people combined, to be able to fulfil all of my needs....whether it be physical, emotional or whatever.......THATS IMPOSSIBLE. ITS ALSO IDOLATRY. only one source could possibly meet all of my needs (note i say NEEDS not GREEDS, as pastor gary is fond of saying), and thats GOD. in essence, when i rely upon others to make me happy, and blame them when they dont, im making them my God, and of course im going to end up resenting them whenever they fall short of my expectations, because the very expectation is one doomed to failure. even im going to let loved ones down from time to time by being less than perfect. last night while i was at work, i heard the term relational idolatry come up, and it perfectly described the trap that led me to one self-destructive relationship after another in my dealings with people. the fact that i basically made other human beings my God is giving me insight as to why i could never keep people in my life. not only was i expecting to fill that God void thru something impossible for it to do, but, like so,m many people who do such a thing, i was so consumed with self, it was all about WHAT CAN OTHERS DO FOR ME, never, WHAT CAN I GIVE IN RETURN. I COULD ATTRACT PEOPLE BUT I COULD NEVER KEEP THEM.

relational idolatry is probably the most common way that when we are guided by our soulish natures, that we place our reliance on things other than God to validate who and what we are.
when we see others who put THINGS over people, i know in my case this is especially true, its easy to pat myself on the back and give myself an attaboy, that i dont have such a materialistic set of values. i value PEOPLE over THINGS dont you know. LOL. thats a good thing , aint it?
after all, isnt Gods most valuable commodity PEOPLE? its pretty easy for us born again guys and gals to tell, when we start confusing our needs with our greeds when it comes to getting
STUFF. but the line often gets blurred between healthy and unhealthy reliance upon people
for our well-being. im beginning to see that a pretty good indication in my case is when i allow an argument to totally disrupt my equilibrium for days on end. its not being able to cope with
things not always going perfectly, or not being able to deal with people not behaving perfectly
100% of the time. and i realize that not making other people my God, and relying on GOD to
meet my needs, is something that doesnt suddenly happen overnight. i had to go thru alot of wrecked relationships, alot of them with people who, in all probability will never want to see me again, for the lights to finally come on that doing things MY way, rather than HIS way, might not be working as well as i somehow managed to delude myself into thinking, when i still thouight i was shucking and jiving while my whole world was chaos. relational idolatry is just not getting that it isnt THEM that needs to change, its ME. its getting honest with myself, and God, that the problem ISNT that other people are self cenetered jerks who dont value me enough. it IS understanding that it just might me im too needy, im too much!!!!

in confronting this fact about myself, i was also confronted with something else. in my failure
to forgive my mother for many of the things i detested her doing with ME, I WOUND UP INTERNALIZING THE VERY THINGS I HELD ONTO A GRUDGE TOWARDS HER OVER.
i hated her guilt tripping me, and being a martyr. and i wound up doing the same thing. and often, it is true..you DO reap what you sow. my resentment towards her was actually, to a large degree lack of gratitude and appreciation. God has a way of knwoing when i need to understand
some of the concepts of galatians 6:1...basically walking in someone elses shoes.

relational idolatry often leaves the person in the very position they so desperately fear...ALONE.
as they go from one failed relationship, friendship, even marriage after another, in the search for the impossible...for that one PERSON wholl meet all their needs. its not enough to know Jesus is my SAVIOR, i also have to learn to daily know Him as LORD